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Vent: Ex-AP contacted me on New Year's...

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AchillesHealed posted 1/3/2014 09:18 AM

He sent a text, which I received the next morning, asking if I've "punished" him enough yet. He still does not get it. I responded that I meant it when I told him to never contact me again, and that if his wife continued her harassment, cyberstalking, and online impersonation of me that they would both be hearing from my lawyer and the authorities. He had the nerve to write me back, asking why I "hate" him, and not commenting or inquiring at all about his wife's psycho behavior. I didn't respond, blocked his number again and hope he really gets it now. He is a selfish, immature child, and I feel all the more foolish/regretful for having betrayed my husband with him.

I would never do it, but a part of me wants to tell his wife that two years after D-Day he is still contacting me and that I have refused to engage with him. In her deluded little psycho mind, I am some predator who seduced her husband in one "weak moment" and have basically made a second career out of "breaking up families" (the quotes are hers, taken from her online posts). I also think she expected more drama when she told my husband, maybe even expected him to commiserate with her, and when he chose to handle it privately it set her off. She even claims (online) that my BS still doesn't know about the affair.

And yes, I am fully aware that I did a horrible thing by engaging in an affair, and that I "injected" myself into her marriage. But, her husband also "injected" himself into my marriage, and you don't see MY spouse throwing fifth grade-style tantrums on social media. Especially not TWO YEARS later.

Sorry, vent over. I am not the same person I was when I had the affair, and I really just want to move on.

[This message edited by AchillesHealed at 10:20 AM, January 3rd (Friday)]

longroadhome posted 1/3/2014 09:28 AM

He sent a text...I responded

^^^Do I need to point out the mistake you made here?

My guess is that he was drunk. New Year's after all. More proof that nobody should drink and operate heavy machinery like cars...or cell phones.

If his BS is truly stalking you, you should notify authorities and be done with all contact with them. It would be healthier for everyone involved if it just stops.

AchillesHealed posted 1/3/2014 09:39 AM

I have not responded in the past, and that hasn't stopped him. I think he believed that as long as I was just ignoring him and not actively hostile, he still had a chance of renewing contact.

His wife's last harassment incident occurred in mid-November, so I'm hoping she's finally finished. I don't want to stir the pot if it's settled. If she does anything again, though, all bets are off.

Prayingforhope posted 1/3/2014 09:42 AM

I changed my cell phone number at the request of my BS shortly after DDay. I didn't understand the request at the time since I had already initiated no contact with the OW, but now I do.

Play it safe, change your number and this will never happen again.

AchillesHealed posted 1/3/2014 09:49 AM

Thanks... I'm considering changing my number. I did finally figure out how to block him permanently, though (previously the "blocks" expired after three months).

harrypotter posted 1/3/2014 10:48 AM

This probably goes without saying but you do show or tell your BH when you get these text right? I would change the damn number....I know it sucks if you have had that number for a while and everyone you know has it but in the end worth it I would think. Good luck

AchillesHealed posted 1/3/2014 10:59 AM

This probably goes without saying but you do show or tell your BH when you get these text right? I would change the damn number....I know it sucks if you have had that number for a while and everyone you know has it but in the end worth it I would think. Good luck

Oh, yes, he saw it. It took everything I had to prevent him from heading over to ex-AP's apartment and killing him.

Every time ex-AP managed to get a message through to me, it made me hate myself all over again for the affair. I really should change my number.

[This message edited by AchillesHealed at 11:09 AM, January 3rd (Friday)]

pointofnoreturn posted 1/3/2014 15:31 PM

Go to your cell phone provider and say you are being harassed. Multiple blocking has not stopped him and they probably will oblige without charging you.

AchillesHealed posted 1/4/2014 13:48 PM

Thanks for the advice here, and for letting me vent. One of my New Year's resolutions is to not give ex-AP or his wife any more headspace, so let this be the last post about them!

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