Topic: Saw the OW today
Member # 41575
| Posted: 6:51 PM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014|
I was in the grocery store and came around the corner and saw the OW walking towards me. I wanted to run up and knocked her slutty ass out but I didn't. She turned and walked up an aisle and must have left the store because I didnt see her again. I came home and told my WH and he asked me if I was alright. Are you kidding me? No I am not! It hurt like hell to see her and it brought me right back to d-day. I am crying like crazy and just a mess. I just want this pain to go away
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R
I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!
Posts: 107 | Registered: Dec 2013
Member # 41135
| Posted: 12:14 AM, January 4th (Saturday), 2014|
Everything is so new for you right now and you have no idea what the future holds. Uncertainty adds to your pain so anything will set you off. When he asked if you were ok I hope you told the exact thing you wrote here. The pain will go away but it will take a lot of work. Having the courage to work takes a lot of fortitude.
My WH left after dday so I have no advice regarding what he should be doing. But there are many here that can tell you the steps to takes he what to expect. I just wanted to to know I hear you and I know what anger you are feeling. (((((Aero)))))
Hope tomorrow is better.
Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
Posts: 277 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
Member # 41794
| Posted: 12:37 AM, January 4th (Saturday), 2014|
Oh man that sucks. We live in a small town and I'm always worried I'm going to see ow although sometimes I hope I do cause I would love to smack her face!! or say something in front of her fiance since I have yet to find a way to contact him. I hope she looked bad..what a coward leaving the store like that, shame on her! Make your ws draw a nice bath for you, cook you a nice dinner,get a fire going then set up a tent outside for himself to sleep on!
[This message edited by whereismylove at 12:38 AM, January 4th (Saturday)]
DDay: Nov.6th, Dec 24, Dec.27(2013) Jan 10th(2014)text contact after she moved from feb- july 2014. Another text episode 1/9/15
Me : BS, 36. awesome doting wife & former stay @home mom
Him: WS, 43.AP 1/2 his age,engaged,& his employee
Posts: 70 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Northern California
Member # 38716
| Posted: 8:29 AM, January 4th (Saturday), 2014|
I'm so sorry, I DREAD this happening.
You are a saint for not running her down with your cart.
BW, 31, two young kids
One day at a time....
Posts: 58 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 14576
| Posted: 7:45 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014|
I'm sorry, sweetie. I know all too well about OW "sightings"...
BUT...it DOES get easier! But it takes TIME. I'm glad your H is supporting and comforting you - that's very important.
I am almost six years out (and it took quite awhile for OW to ride off into the sunset - my profile tells more) - but we live in the same area and when I would initially see her, I would panic inside, like I was going to puke. Now, it's only indifference. She knows better than to try to speak to me (we were "friends" at one time) and when the "sighting" occurs, she or I walk the other way.
Funny you said the grocery store, because I just saw xOW there last Sunday. Saw her at the hospital when my granddaughter was in the ER last month (she put her head down and kept walking)...saw her in WalMart a month or so before that...ugh! It was nice when a full three years went by with no sightings, but no such luck lately. But I didn't get that shaky, sick, panicky feeling the last few times.
I'd still like to knock her out like you wanted to - but we both know she's not worth us getting into legal troubles - it would actually likely make them happy. Just walk away with your head held high - then break down later. Trust me, you will begin healing from it.
Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 31 years 9/2/14
2 grown daughters-31 & 27
5yo GS,2yo GD & 7 mo. GD (DD30) and 3 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.
Posts: 5257 | Registered: May 2007
Member # 11176
| Posted: 10:57 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014|
Sorry you had to go through that.
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.
Posts: 6850 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Member # 38344
| Posted: 2:15 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014|
Hugs to you!
I completely know how you feel.
The Slut actually lives down the street from me in our subdivision so I get the pleasure of seeing her very often.
I want to smack her. LOL, luckily I have a lot of restraint.
Posts: 36 | Registered: Feb 2013
Member # 41927
| Posted: 11:52 AM, January 9th (Thursday), 2014|
Im so sorry. I know the feeling. Its horrible. My WWF's OM lives 7 min from my house. I see him everywhere. When I see him I start to shake. It ruins my day and I dont eat. Still after 9 months.
Im sorry you had to go through this. We are here for you.
BH: 36 (me)
WS: 31 / OM: 31
Affair: 1.5 year long 2012
ONS with stranger Feb 2013
D-day #1 March 2013
D-day #2 April 2013
D-day #3 Sept 2013
Limbo 7 months
Moved out - 180D - NC
A over. Defogged. Trying R
Posts: 207 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Tampa Florida
Member # 41924
| Posted: 11:59 AM, January 9th (Thursday), 2014|
I thank god that we don't live within 4 hours of the OW, but on the other hand I wish I did so I culd smack her , bcuz yes my WH did have an A but OW was a willing participant too as she knew he was married ,
Married 14 years in March, 2 Beautiful children 8 & 12
D-Day: Xmas Eve 2013-worst day of my life
"The most expensive thing in th world is TRUST, it takes years to earn and just a matter of seconds to lose"
Posts: 102 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: santa rosa ca
Member # 41652
| Posted: 7:00 PM, January 9th (Thursday), 2014|
I've seen the @*^#(*^ I'm suspicious of and it seriously makes my blood BOIL and my heart rate goes up really fast. I can't imagine what it would be like for a confirmed OW.
Posts: 155 | Registered: Dec 2013
Member # 15942
| Posted: 10:47 PM, January 9th (Thursday), 2014|
Sorry you have to deal with that. I almost 7 years out and I had to deal with OW today. Found out she and I are serving on the same health committee in our town. We also attend the same church
It does get easier. It will just take time.
Met when we were 17 and 15. Together since 1983, married since 1985. Two kids, B21, G15.
Life has a way of making us get our panties in a wad.....I refuse to wear panties ever again.
Posts: 3998 | Registered: Aug 2007
Member # 41961
| Posted: 11:48 PM, January 9th (Thursday), 2014|
This is my biggest fear. I do not know what my reaction will be. My WH not only sees hookers regularly, he has one regular OW he sees regularly. She works at the same place as my WH, different building. She knows who I am. She knows what I look like. She knows (actually sees daily) my children. I have never met her, I don't even know what she looks like!! I have a feeling that if I do see her, it will not be pretty for either one of us. Since I have yet to confront him, I am sure she would be very awkward near me. Although our meeting is not likely....
BS: Me 44 WH: 51 Kids: 14, 16, 18, 29 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for
Posts: 422 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
|Topic Posts: 12|