SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

inthedark14 posted 1/4/2014 17:23 PM

So heres my story.
I have been married to my husband for almost 15 years,in march. We have 2 beautiful children together. I have ALWAYS supported his business,so blindly i supported this.Over the years we have started and ran 4 businesses together, well him mostly,ive been a stay at home mom for the most part, and working with him whenever necessary. Well 1 year ago we/he started our newest endeavor. He started flipping real estate in another town. This is a town that we purchased our own vacation home for ourselves 1 1/2 years ago as well,this is where it all began. (I really do not kno when and how long.) Im all over the place im sorry ,this is just really hard for me to "say". Anyway christmas eve, while my husband was in the shower i decided to look in his duffle bag that he always takes to the other town you see he goes there about once a week because we are currently remodeling 2 houses we bought there. So i looked in his bag,(there were 3 things that he had been weird about so i was getting suspicious) and i found his camera he just recently bought to take pics of the houses. And on it i found a picture that if you have kids you know dam well what kinda pic it is, side shot just tummy and partial butt,basicaly a"im pregnant lets take a pic to see progress" , i went to bathroom to show him, he got out of shower and i threw his camera . He didnt say shit. Basicaly i didnt know what to do so everyone went to bed, next day was xmas ,we agreed not to do this on xmas,for the kids. Fast forward, its been 11 days and i have not gotten shot outta him, it took 4 days to confess she was pregnant,she just got an abortion yesterday. My husband has ALWAYS been a stubborm man, and im a bigger idiot for hoping he will tell me what i want to kno but HE THINKS i shuld not need to kno,only thing i need 2 kno r how long, idk what my point is to all this, i, just tellin my story i guess, hope it makes sense

Skan posted 1/4/2014 18:07 PM

Welcome. I am so sorry that you had the reason to find us, but so very, very glad that you did, for support.

Gently, how do you know that she got an abortion? Unless you can see the medical bill, you don't really know because anything he or she tells you, is coming from the mouth of a liar. I hate to bring that up, but because you have children who would be impacted by him having to pay child support to someone else for 18 years, you need to consider that. Especially if she's far enough along to show, I would demand those medical records or I would get myself to a lawyer and find out if you need to file simply to lock in your children's benefits as primary. I know this is an incredibly horrid thing to have happen, and to have to think about right now.

Please take a look in the upper left corner, at the yellow box. Click on The Healing Library and start reading. There's a lot of good information for you in there that has been written by people who have unfortunately been there and done that. Any post in this forum that has a bulls-eye next to is also good information for you. You may have to go to the bottom of the page and click on page 2 or 3 to find all of those articles they are regularly bumped up to the top for new people. I know that you probably don't feel like it, but you need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your children. Stay hydrated, eat what you can, sleep when you can. If you can't keep food down, get a whole nutrition drink like Ensure and sip on it. You need to focus on taking care of yourself alone. Your WH can take care of himself for a while. You need to be a bit selfish and focus on yourself to try to come to terms with the initial trauma. And make no mistake, you have been dealt a trauma as great as being hit by a bus.

Come back often for support. We're all here for you. (((hugs)))

inthedark14 posted 1/4/2014 18:50 PM

U r right, i dnt kno for sure, i guess i assumed it to b true, since he initialy took the picture bcuz he THOUGHT a kid wuld b nice, since i dnt want more, after that initial thought, i DID read his txts to her since i found out (btw we have verizon and online believe it or not, u can read every single word, every single text u sent and recievedmin the last 30 days, with the prepaid plans anyway) and all txts between them SINCE he came home after finding out shes pregnant(and bfor he knew i found out) were all telling her he absolutely does NOT want a child with her, he did tell me he cant MAKE her bcuz it is her body,but she knew what he felt about the baby, bcuz IF i decided to reconcile and stay with him, under NO condition will i allow my kids to have a step sibling period, so in his unscrupulious mind, he did ONE thing right, and i did read their txts last night after her procedure, he dsnt kno i have access to his texts, yet, so i do believe it to b true.

wanttogoforward posted 1/4/2014 19:24 PM

I wouldn't bet my paycheck on her having had an abortion.... no one I know would take side pic of a pg belly like they were soooo happy to show it off and then abort.... UNLESS.... she did it to try to hang on to him.

nomoredreams posted 1/6/2014 21:01 PM

I wish I had words of advice, but I am new here, too. I will definitely send up prayers for you to have strength and remain sane. But I have a question for you, if you do not mind. How do you access your text printouts from verizon on-line? I just discovered my husband sent his girlfriend a text after agreeing to no contact. Thank you.
nmd

BrooklynLove posted 1/6/2014 21:26 PM

I don't believe she got an abortion because you don't take side pics when you don't want the baby. If she was showing how many weeks was she and is it even legal for her to get an abortion? Maybe she was never pregnant and was trying to hold onto him. Do not let your husband rug sweep this it will only bring you heartbreak later. I would recommend you guys find a new business venture. He needs to be home and away from her. Wishing you all the best.

PRNDL posted 1/6/2014 21:42 PM

Wow! What total disregard for someones feelings. Im very sorry he did this to you. You need to look into 180 him. It will be hard brcause its not what you are used to. Please do not believe anything he tells you. Also, expect the worse. He is a liar and capable of anything.

There are many ways to handle this. However, there is the one absolute. Focus on you during this. Eat, sleep, fix anything you didnt like about yourself to boost your self esteem.

Read the healing material and 180D his ass.

Keep us posted.

inthedark14 posted 1/7/2014 14:46 PM

Nomoredreams: I recently went from Verizon pre paid to a contract , and with the prepaid I was able to access my txts online where u manage your account online but I have yet to find out if and how for the contract plans, I'm not sure if it works for contracts, but for prepaid u just go to myverizon.com and Sign up for online account management idk what it's called ,I also don't know if u will b able to read your txts prior to setting up online account , or if u can only read texts from the date u sign up online

inthedark14 posted 1/7/2014 14:51 PM

And last night after reading replies i asked for proof , I told him to text her in front of me and ask her to text a Pic of the prescription bottles from the clinic, (I have terminated a pregnancy in the last 4 years and I kno they give u 2 medications)asked her to take Pic of the bottle label with name and date and name of meds and she did and it checked

inthedark14 posted 1/7/2014 16:00 PM

Nomoredreams also It may require u to have his cell phone in order to sign up online bcuz it will text the phone # a code to make sure u have the phone so wait til u can get his phone

nomoredreams posted 1/7/2014 20:58 PM

Thank you for taking the time to answer my question. Also, I keep trying to imagine how I would feel if I discovered WH had gotten another woman pregnant... You are in my prayers. I do not know how you are handling this...
God bless, nmd

inthedark14 posted 1/8/2014 02:02 AM

WH agrees with me, we WILL sell our home up there, he will NOT go there alone EVER again, it sucks bcuz my kids LOVE our vacation home,we have only had it for 1 year since we remodeled it, we have 2 now sell it and ALL the furniture in it, we custom designed this home, its a great size for us,with plenty of spare beds for ppp 2 come with us, wen i think of selling it it pisses me off

inthedark14 posted 1/13/2014 20:08 PM

So after further digging I feel much better to know that WH did NOT take the picture of her pregnant belly, he has this smart camera with Bluetooth and wifi and I hooked it up to he computer and it shows all the data "transactions" and it shows that picture sent to his camera via wifi from her phone number, this is SUCH a relief that HE did not happily take this picture of her , and it showed date sent as 2 days after he got home , I further examined the picture and she took it herself in our roll at vacation house , he said he made it clear to her repeatedly that he was never leaving his family for her and I do believe that , I believe she thought he was a great catch even tho he fn cheated on his family so how the hell is that a good catch, I also have read more texts from her BEGGING him to leave me so they "can be a family " and he was not very nice to her, that made me smile just a bit, he had been keeping his phone on his person 24/7 and I been gettin PISSED about this so I FINALY got ahold of it couple days ago only to find she Been texting him since he told her to lose his # he been keeping it from me so I wuldnt get further pissed that she won't leave him alone, I told him if she continues to text him that we r changing his number and he agreed , just wanted to update