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Newest Member: 2ndtimernd (45746)

User Topic: so sad
Dyinghere
♀ 41313
Member # 41313
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so broken. My heart physically hurts. I know I am in a deep depression. Meds have not started to work yet. I am just so profoundly sad, every minute. I don't know how to dig out of this feeling of agony.

I feel unwanted. Left out. Disregarded.

I feel not good enough.

He is staying and he has left her. I am grateful for that. . But I am just torn to bits.




Posts: 135 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: the inside of my head
BarelyAfloat
♀ 41918
Member # 41918
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Dyinghere)))

I am so sorry for you pain. I am right there with you feeling the same feelings.

Hang in there. I honestly believe there is a brighter future. Just work on being the best you, you can be and everything else will fall into place (with or without him).

I truly believe that.


BW- me (43)
WH- him (45)
OW- also married (29)
Been married 21 years
DDay- 12/27/13

Posts: 4 | Registered: Jan 2014
Chrysalis123
♀ 27148
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Dyinghere))))

I am so sorry you are suffering today. I know what it felt like to be torn to bits. It sucks.

What can you do today, some little tiny thing that will make you laugh? Just a little laugh... You can't be in agony and laugh at the same time.....give it a try.

Then tomorrow try to laugh twice, or maybe add in deep appreciation for like the cuteness of a kitten, or the beauty of the sunset.

This horrible time will pass. One thing I know for sure is nothing stays the same.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2781 | Registered: Jan 2010
mof2
♀ 40287
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Dyinghere)))). Ugh...I just hurt for the BS who have just found out. Do everything you can to keep your chin up and know that you have support here...we all understand. It is definitely painful but know that you will get through this!!!!


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Howie
♂ 41922
Member # 41922
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The pain is very bad, I know. I thought it would kill me; I didn't need to hurt myself, my system just wouldn't stand it. Only victims know what it is like. There will be hard days and weeks, but the good of your life is still there and it starts to shine through. Trust me about this! So many things-people that value you and need you.Work you can do. Differences you can make,things you've always enjoyed and also, something deeper that may seem out of touch right now, your pride and identity as a person.
Cheaters always have reasons. But nothing justifies the lies and deceits. Cheaters do the easy thing; the hard, admirable thing is faithfulness and honesty.Which is one thing to learn: you are nobler than you partner. Don't despair.Seek professional help as needed. Medication/counseling can help-they did me.Don't despair.. your good life is still here, waiting for you after the bad times. And no one or no thing has the right to take your life from you,including this situation.
Hang in there.Please.

Posts: 190 | Registered: Jan 2014
RidingHealingRd
♀ 33867
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Infidelity is so painful. All that you are feeling is normal. The tremendous pain, the gut wrenching sadness ~ it feels so permanent but it is not. You will dig your way out one day at a time.

I can remember when I passed by a mirror in my home and barely recognized myself. The sadness I witnessed in that mirror actually frightened me. At that moment I understood what my WH had been saying when he spoke these words, "I see the pain in your eyes every single day"

It took a long time but I am okay. I feel like myself again, thae sadness is gone, my M survived...I survived!

My IC gave me advice that worked: "Keep your hands busy. Work on a puzzle, needlework, crafting, gardening. Studies show when your hands are busy it helps keeps your mind from wandering. It will keep you from constantly revisiting that very painful place"

It may not feel like it right now but you are going to be okay.

{{{Dyinghere}}}


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 4 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Nov 2011
BAB61
♀ 41181
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 11:44 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Dyinghere))))) It's been said before, but I'll say it again. You will be ok, with or without him. YOU will be ok. A couple of books to read: Surviving Infidelity by Liz Currin Phd and After the Affair by Janis Abrahms Spring, Phd.

A great book for you WH is Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass.

(((((Dyinghere))))) you are not alone. Ever ...


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Dyinghere
♀ 41313
Member # 41313
Default  Posted: 12:00 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know logically that getting moving will help. But other than caring for my children I just don't have anything to give.

Thank you for your words of encouragement.

If any of you pray, please pray for me.




Posts: 135 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: the inside of my head
Gotmegood
♀ 41407
Member # 41407
Default  Posted: 12:17 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know that you really are dying there, I was too in the beginning. What struck a chord with me was the 'caring for your children'. Right after I found out (2 days after), I had to go care for my grandchildren as my daughter was really, really sick. And it was all I could manage, like you are saying. But that's okay!! No, it's not the normal you. Be glad you can do the stuff you absolutely HAVE to do, then crash. You only have to do the absolutely necessary stuff. Your normal self will come back, slowly, but she will. Believe all of us.


Me: faithful wife 62.
Him: WH 64 , prostitute 20 yr old
DDay: 8-13-2013
Status: boinging up and down like a yo-yo

Posts: 529 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Florida
RidingHealingRd
♀ 33867
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 1:02 AM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I pray...I will pray for you.
{{{Dyinghere}}}


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 4 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Nov 2011
MJane
♀ 40571
Member # 40571
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Dyinghere)) - the first weeks are the worst - the shock, the despair - I felt i didn't know what my world was about anymore. That my H, who as my best friend was capable of the degree of cruelty and, worse, complete apathy in respect of me and our new child broke my heart. I am still broken and still picking up the pieces but I see the other things in life that I have and I feel I can make it through. Others have said it and just want to reassure you - you are stronger than you think, you pull through for your children, yourself and the fact that what this person did to you is not all that defines you - you are much more than that. I am so very sorry for your pain - post on SI whenever the pain gets too much - there is always someone here and I am so grateful for all the support I find here.

Posts: 260 | Registered: Sep 2013
cardnial
♀ 40382
Member # 40382
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will pray for you. Keep posting and reading. I am 6 months into this nightmare but I have to say it does get better. I am learning to love and value myself more now. Hang in there dear.

Posts: 74 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Calif.
Topic Posts: 12

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