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newlysingle posted 1/5/2014 17:17 PM

Last week it had crossed my mind that not only did I suffer through the holidays, but that I was also going to have to face my anniversary. Then I forgot all about it until lunchtime today. I took the kids out for brunch and as I was signing the check, I noticed the date and felt that pang of sadness. However, it was brief for some reason and I decided that I wanted to mark this day as special in another way.

DD and I had discussed removing her training wheels recently, so I suggested we do it today. She was a little apprehensive, but we started in the grass and she took off. She was so ready, that it literally took just a few minutes to get the hang of it. We spent the rest of the afternoon outside riding and the neighbor girl came over and played. That was a big deal for DD as neighbor girl is rarely there since it is just a vacation home for them. All in all a great day and I'm so proud of DD. I'm also proud of myself for doing one more milestone with the kids without his help. I can do this! I don't need him!

Hopefully, I won't be a sobbing mess when night falls, but I'm feeling good right now. Today is no longer my anniversary, but the day DD rode on two wheels.

GotPlayed posted 1/5/2014 17:29 PM

((newlysingle))

That is the most creative way to replace a memory I've heard yet. Makes me wish I hadn't removed the training wheels off my DD's bike!

We're all proud of you here as well.
Having forgotten about it until mid-day is a great sign I think.

Holidays were hard on me, though I'm doing better, and luckily I don't have to face my anniversary until mid-year, still have a few months.

Maybe I'll go skydiving. That will be a jolt that I'll remember!

badmedicine posted 1/5/2014 18:36 PM

I love this!!! I don't have kids but the image of you reclaiming the date with DD and the symbolism of finally being brave to take the training wheels off...and then riding freely like she could have before.....I have goose bumps. Are you sure you didn't make this up??

Way to go, newlysingle.

Pass posted 1/5/2014 20:03 PM

I'm also proud of myself for doing one more milestone with the kids without his help. I can do this! I don't need him!

You should be proud. You're a frigging rock star!

Even if you do end up a sobbing mess tonight, you felt great for most of the day, and you found a way to keep feeling great. Feeling shitty later doesn't rob you of those good hours from earlier.

PhoenixRising88 posted 1/5/2014 20:06 PM

oh yea newly!!!!!! Atta girl!!! So proud of you. and congrats to DD on ditchin the training wheels!

Nature_Girl posted 1/5/2014 20:19 PM

I love the intentional transformation of your thoughts. Well done!

BAB61 posted 1/5/2014 20:51 PM

Yay, gives me hope .. we were in False R when our marriage anniversary occurred, we did nothing to commemorate it ... should have been my first clue that it was false ... smh ...

(We had 2 anniversaries - marriage due to Desert Shield, and wedding after Desert Storm. ugh ... 2 dates to ignore! lol

I love that you changed the date into something your dd can celebrate! wtg!

newlysingle posted 1/5/2014 21:37 PM

Thanks everyone. I'm honestly shocked that I wasn't depressed and morose all day. I've felt that way daily since about Dec. 15th. I did give myself a little pep talk yesterday about trying to be in a better mood for the kids' sake. Maybe it actually worked. I'll just take it for what it is and not be too hard on myself if I feel miserable again tomorrow.

GotPlayed - go skydiving! I think that would be a great way to change the anniversary. I'd do it if I wasn't such a chicken shit.

Bad medicine - no making it up! She was really ready though. She's had a lot of anxiety about taking the training wheels off even though she was hardly using them anymore. It took a little pushing on behalf of myself and the neighbor girl, but she took to it right away. I posted the video on FB and everyone was really proud of her. Also it was a beautiful 68 degrees in Phoenix today, so we had to be outside. I'm feeling so bad for those stuck in those arctic temps around the country.

BAB61 - I know exactly how you feel. Last year i sent him a text telling him happy anniversary and what a great H he was. Yeah, I got no response. He was in Asia for work and I bet OW was with him. He got home two weeks later and I got the ILYBINILWY speech. I then discovered the A in early March. The more I think about it though, he was usually away for for every anniversary and didn't do much to acknowledge it anyway. Maybe that's why today wasn't as painful as I'd imagined?

[This message edited by newlysingle at 9:38 PM, January 5th (Sunday)]

TrustGone posted 1/6/2014 07:37 AM

My XWH#1 and I got married for the second time on Christmas eve. This year after 10yrs it never even crossed my mind until the next day that yesterday was mine and Ex's anniversary date. One day hopefully you will get there too. (((HUGS)))

SBB posted 1/6/2014 07:44 AM

Today is no longer my anniversary, but the day DD rode on two wheels.

Love this. Love it.