I met my husband when I was young (17) and we have been married for 10 years. We have children. We've had many ups & downs in recent years, but I never even thought about doing something like this before.
So I did it, I had an affair. It lasted about 3 months, and was long-distance. We were together physically on 3 occasions, but talked almost daily through email/phone.
I also began getting involved with another man, who was local. It was my emails to him that husband discovered, the day before xmas eve. Everything else came out soon after, by my confession.
Husband wants to work things out. He knows I was depressed and not acting like myself (very true). His stipulations were that I have std testing and counseling, and that will begin this week.
Right now we are both swinging between emotions - he has been very angry (to the point I thought he might actually go try to kill this other man), to very sad and crying on the floor, to very compassionate and loving toward me. I seem to alternate from feeling numb, to guilty and hating myself for what I did (though I don't think it's fully hit me yet), to mixed emotions about the other man and how I let him be careless with my feelings during the affair, and the way things came to an abrupt end...
My husband also contacted him immediately (mostly angry threats) and contacted his wife to tell her. I had brief contact with him (a phone call) in which I told him I was sorry things exploded like this, and he told me things were bad with his wife and he was going to try to fix it, and we hung up. I guess I thought talking to him would make me feel better, some closure or something, but it made me feel much worse.
My husband also contacted the wife of the other man (who I had just began seeing), and so now the lives of six people were turned upside down over the holidays because of what I did. Again, I just feel numb.
My husband loves me, and keeps reminding me, and we are promising each other we will do whatever it takes to make things better again. I am just exhausted and hope I have the strength to bear whatever is to come. I was extremely depressed when this all started, and I guess I wanted an escape from my life for a while... it wasn't so much about my husband, or the other men, as much as it was a break from reality.
I'm not sure if posting here will help, but I thought it might. I never thought I'd be one of these people who did "this". But it was so easy. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.