Just for Ss and Gs.
Because all this seems so surreal sometimes, I wonder what movie I am in...
It always starts out the same.
STBX cheats with obnoxiously young girl and blows up my life. He moves out and I start begin my new journey as a single working mom.
Then I have to decide what type of movie I am in...
The Lifetime Movie:
Little OW turns all SWF. Cuts her hair to look like me. Changes her FB profile pic to be identical. I see her outside my house.
Then I enlist the help of the handsome detective. Of course he is handsome. And of course, one night OW gets super stalky and DD and I must stay at handsome detective's house. And of course, he has to take off his shirt. But he sleeps on the couch. He is, after all, a gentleman and it is only a Lifetime movie.
The end comes when OW attempts to fully assume my role and, in a battle royale, handsome detective saves the day and arrests her. Handsome detective and I live happily ever after.
The Indie Movie, maybe?
In my struggle as a new single working mom, I come across a quirky yet lovable struggling soul just like myself. He isn't ugly, but not attractive (but let's be fair, it's Joseph Gordon Levitt in glasses).
My side-kick is a hippie with an off-kilter but spot on view of the world. Her viewpoints are tactless and off the wall, but at the my most low, are exactly what I need to hear.
JGL and I fall madly deeply in love through our unconventional dates and random conversation. But something happens which makes me think he isn't who he says he is.
He tries to explain but the damage is done, all is lost, surely I will die alone... Until my side kick says "Even a zebra can get confused by stripes" and suddenly all is clear.
I find JGL. Discover all he was hiding is that he is a millionaire and we live happily ever after.
The Rom Com?
In my struggle as a new single working mom, I come across a handsome and charismatic guy. Played by... oh... Robert Downey Jr
My side-kick is a well to do business woman (single and proud). Her viewpoints are spot on and she takes no prisoners when expressing her opinions. She is always delivering advice in the middle of random actions. Like driving a race car. Or building a house. Or feeding bears.
RDJ seems to hop from woman to woman. Until he tries to hop me. But I won't give into his charms. They don't work on me.
He is beguiled by the fact that I don't seem to get right into bed with him. He is intrigued. he tries everything. Flowers. Fancy dates. Helicopter rides. Nothing works. I won't even get on the helicopter. I laugh and walk away.
It seems hopeless, he will never gain my affection. I am going to slip away forever. Oh, because I am moving away.
RDJ solicits some advice from my side kick. She tells him that I can see through the BS (due to my past, of course) and that he needs to just be straight with it. As she is in the middle of cage diving with a shark.
As I am about to board a plane... or go through security with all the rules the way they are...
He comes to tell me how he feels from the heart. And it works. I kiss him. And we live happily ever after.
This is what happens when I am alone too long with a computer...
[This message edited by littlefoggy at 10:36 PM, January 5th (Sunday)]