When we began marriage counseling, I distinctly remember our MC say at the end of the first session "Well you are the most polite and considerate couple in crisis that I have ever met. Your assignment this week is to fight."
I recall thinking she was nuts. I had always prided myself on the fact that we didn't fight. But ultimately, it led to a great build-up of frustration and pent up ill will that caused resentment. And clearly, our communication with one another on issues was flawed.
So fight we did. It was a miserable two weeks until we went back. No physical altercations, to be sure, but yelling and anger like neither of us had ever unleashed. Culminated in a huge blow up over the grill, of all things, which malfunctioned and was not the fault of either of us.
On our return to MC, she asked us how it went. We both replied TERRIBLY! And then she taught us how to "fight" - or should I say disagree - productively and respectfully, and to really LISTEN to the other person in the process. That has made so much difference in our relationship, and we still apply those learnings 7 years later.
So good on you and your wife. I hope the positive communications continue!