In the beginning there was crazy remorse, efforts to make me feel special, discussions, compassion, all of it...except total disclosure.
No there wasn't remorse. Regret, maybe, and maybe only about getting caught.
she's too angry at me for how I treated her our whole relationship to do what she needs to in order to help me heal.
At the very worst, some of the relationship issues are yours. None of her decisions to be unfaithful are yours.
She begged me not to go, then decided she can't try and fix it.
One person alone cannot have R. If she can't try, it's over.
Her blameshifting is painfully common - please don't put any of what she did onto yourself.
I'm glad you're aware of the 180 - It's going to be really good for you once you get the hang of it. You get your strength and your control back. Don't be hard on yourself in the beginning - nobody executes it perfectly.
Sending big hugs.
Sorry you are going through this. I think it makes even harder when they seem willing to R one moment and then want to run away the next.
[This message edited by doggiediva at 6:05 PM, January 6th (Monday)]
Very, very sorry for your pain!