A few things I've learned... the two month mark seemed to be very, very difficult. Not sure why, but it was. Maybe because the permanence was setting in? Looks like you are at about that mark now.
Making a memorial scrap book is a fantastic idea. I began assembling one about my best friend that I intend to give to her young boys (11 and 9) when they are older. If you have children or neices and nephews, they would all probably really enjoy that book some day. Writing down memories and compiling pictures has been very theraputic. I've found time to smile, despite the sadness, and often even laugh out loud. Memories can never be taken from you, and you will find they provide great comfort.
I also found it useful to retreat from others who are also grieving for a bit. It was hard to watch them deal with their emotions as I was struggling with mine. This is hard to describe, but I think I became a bit jealous(?) that others shared a bond with her that I felt was special to just me. I needed to be alone with my thoughts and not sharing theirs. I did, however, find a friend that didn't know my best friend at all. She was a great listener and I didn't feel like I had to compete with her about whose memories/bonds were better.
I will say prayers of peace for you. Five months out and I am still struggling, but it does get a little easier with each day.
I love your idea of the memorial scrap book as a way to honor your mom. I'm sure working on the project will remind you of so many wonderful memories.
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.” ― Pema Chödrön
I'm so sorry pmr.
I lost my mom in 3/12 and miss her every single day.
As far as honoring her these are a few things I've done but it took me a year or more to be able to do them.
She had a summer nightgown and cover up with lace on the bottom of them and I had the lace put on pillow cases (enough for 3)
I copied her handwritten recipes in color so it showed stains, etc., for all the grandkids
last month I was able to look at her photos and see her life, who she was, without grieving so heavily and I found a really cute very old picture of my mom and dad and I framed it in an old looking frame. It's cute because of something I think is so cute and totally them.
Wish I had better words for you, there are none really
The future's so bright - I got to wear shades
Plant Seeds of Kindness
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
My only advice is to not fight the grief. Go with it, feel it. It will take a while. One day, I promise, you will wake up one morning and her death isn't the first thing you think of. One day, I promise, you will think of her and smile and not cry.
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson "She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in 2011 and I still think about calling him once in a while and have to stop myself.
I just process my grief as it comes... I don't have any advice other than that.
I've very sorry that you, too, have lost your mom. I feel your pain and commiserate with you.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my dad in October and it's been rough. You have my condolences and sympathy.
Some of the things we've done (myself, my brother, and my mom). We went through pictures and my mom used a picture frame she had purchased years ago (it's huge, probably meant for more like a painting, but it worked for us) and made a huge (collage isn't the right word)collage of all of our favorite photos of him.
My mom had a tree planted for him in his birth state.
Shortly after his death, we made dinner with all of his favorite things. We then went out and lit chinese wish lanterns and let them go. It was beautiful. My 3 year old remarked that we were making stars.
Wish I had more, but you have my sincerest sympathy.
V
I did a scrapbook for my friend when her son passed. Let me tell you - it was soooo emotional. I cried through every-single-layout! However, it was the best thing for me to do. I told my friend the tears would literally drip off my face on every page. hugs!
I'm sorry for everyone who is grieving a loss.
(((((everyone)))))
I’m sure you miss the phone calls, especially on occasions like Christmas and New Years Eve. Not being able to draw advice from her sucks - amazing how much we depended on them.
A couple of things i’d suggest to you: * download any saved or even deleted phone messages that she left for you on your computer or detached hard drives so you can listen to her voice, * put any clothes (blouses, scarves, etc) in a zip lock type bag (Space Bags are great) so you can enjoy her smell from time to time, * as others have suggested, put photos in a scrapbook, * what is kinda cool is to pull out an old letter or card that she wrote to you and gently trace over her words with your finger and imagine her writing it, * if you’re able to, take clippings of her plants and re-root them - collect seedlings from trees in her yard and do the same thing - when they’re ready plant them - nurture them as she did you (a very, very long time ago my neighbor painted a house that Einstein lived in in Princeton NJ - he took seedlings from one of the trees on the property and sure enough he had an “Einstein tree” in his yard for decades - he was proud of that tree - a connection to someone great - like your mom), * place a picture of her between your mattresses - you’ll sleep peacefully.
I’m sorry for your loss, pm411. I’ll put her in my prayers...
[This message edited by sportsfan at 12:23 PM, January 9th (Thursday)]
