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inshockandhurt (original poster member #38789) posted at 1:20 AM on Tuesday, January 7th, 2014
Yesterday was both an awful day and a good day. I have been up and down lately and wondering whether or not R is truly possible. I have been having a hard time with wondering if my husband really loves me or if he is only here because he is afraid to leave. I worry whether he is now being honest with me and if R is really what he wants. He hasn’t been sharing his efforts to get to the root of the affair and so I assumed he was not making the efforts. Well yesterday I finally tried talking to him about it. At first the conversation did not go well, I felt he was defensive and I got upset, but we talked again a little later on and he gave me a detailed description of what he thinks went wrong, why he allowed himself to have an affair, how he justified it and other things he has figured out. He admitted some feelings of anger that he was having which was a big step for him, he has a hard time telling me how he really feels because of FOO issues. I am proud of him for opening up to me and I am more hopeful of true R because of his honestly about this admission; he was scared to tell me, scared of how I would react but he opened up anyway and I am so glad. I also realized that I have been living too much in the past, focusing too much on the details of the affair and not focusing enough on his efforts to R. I am going to try to start journaling more when I am in a good mood rather than just writing when I am unhappy or obsessing. Anyway, I just wanted to share with you all, thanks for reading. 
Me: 36 BS
Him:38 FWH
Dday 8 years ago
2 sons 1 daughter
Reconciled
Forgiveness means understanding, acceptance, and giving up on looking back.
AML04 ( member #39682) posted at 1:56 AM on Tuesday, January 7th, 2014
Good job you guys!!! I love reading about progress like this. Keep it up!
Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 3:38 AM on Tuesday, January 7th, 2014
That's just wonderful. Getting over the fear of being authentic and truthful is SO major!
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
inshockandhurt (original poster member #38789) posted at 12:42 AM on Wednesday, January 8th, 2014
Thanks!
Me: 36 BS
Him:38 FWH
Dday 8 years ago
2 sons 1 daughter
Reconciled
Forgiveness means understanding, acceptance, and giving up on looking back.
greengiant ( member #41196) posted at 9:43 PM on Wednesday, January 8th, 2014
Good news! My WW is also starting to have real discussions with me, telling me what she thinks went wrong. Thank you for sharing!
ME - BS - 35 (33 on dDay)
fWW - 35 (33 on dDay)
Married 10 years, together 17
3 kids: 8, 6 and 4
D-Day: September 30th, 2013
She had a 6 weeks A with a COW
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