Welcome ryan - I am sorry you find yourself in need of this site, but glad you found us.
You will find this is a very safe place full of wonderful people who have been there, done that.
You also need to know that no matter what you H has done, you will survive it. No matter what he says it's nothing you did or didn't do that made him choose this.
You unfortunately have felt this pain before, so you have some understanding of how this can go. But you need to stop putting him first. It's time to make you the number on priority. Your happiness has to come first. Your health has to come first, and your sanity has to come first.
If you can't sleep, eat, or stay hydrated get to your Dr and get some meds. There is no shame in getting a little pharmaceutical support to get through this. You also need to be STD tested. If you H has two known indiscretions with friends, god only knows what else he has done. Make him get tested too.
He is fundamentally broken, and finds this need for attention, he absolutely has to figure out his why's, and I was drunk is not his why.
Up on the left side of your screen is the healing library please go read in there. It will help you gain some perspective, and strength.
You need to pull yourself up, and take care of you and those kids. As far as him being concerned about you hurting yourself you need to tell him, and you need to believe that he isn't worth your kids growing up without a mom. You are much stronger than that.
keep reading, keep posting. Get help if you need it. Stay strong and focus on you, when you feel like you have gained some strength back, then you can tell him what he needs to do to heal himself.