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Newest Member: lostsoul8008 (61557)

User Topic: Your experience quitting IC?
♀ 38375
Member # 38375
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm considering at least taking some time off from IC - mainly because I've been bringing my baby with me and he's now at the point where he's no longer a sleeping infant in my arms and he wants to walk around and screams if I don't let him. So as you can imagine, I'm not getting a lot out of it! For now, I have no childcare options. My only hesitations is that my IC is the only person besides WH I have to talk about the A, and I am hitting the pinnacle of A season here and it's been really hard. I would keep doing MC every other week. But I worry that I'd fall apart if I stop my weekly IC.
How have the rest of you fared that stopped IC, or had to take an extended break from it? Did it have a big impact on healing and reconciling?

D-day #1 - 1/23/13
false R, then...
D-day #2 - 3/26/13
I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons. - Hippocratic Oath

Posts: 342 | Registered: Feb 2013
♀ 40166
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you need to find a way to keep going. Talk to your FWS, let him help figure out a way. Nights? Weekends? Put a call out for a sitter, on FB maybe (you don't have to say what for)? A family friend?

I think you sound like you are not at all in a good place to be quitting MC. I really think letting your H help you find a solution could be both healing and helpful. Don't stop going.

Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 1127 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
♀ 30817
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If there were only two options, I would go to IC instead of MC. Your spouse can keep the baby while you are there.

Him WH
2 ddays in '07
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 8014 | Registered: Jan 2011
♀ 33867
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it possible for you to have a phone or Skype session with you therapist, possible when your son is napping?

Here is a article from on the subject...

One day I was unable to make my IC session so she phoned me. The conversation felt no different then the ones I had sitting in her office.

ME: 57 BS
HIM: 64 WH
Married: 32 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 6 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.

Posts: 2441 | Registered: Nov 2011
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've ended IC only when I've accomplished my goals, when I refuse to change in the area that has come up, or when the therapist or I have moved to a new city.

It sounds like you want to accomplish more and need support, so I, too, think you should do your best to find a sitter.

The sessions will probably be more effective without your child - after all, infants call for a lot of attention.

fBH (me) - 66 on d-day, Married 43, together 45 on d-day, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
Most of us know only our own experience. That's not enough data to support a general rule that D, or R, is right in every sitch.

Posts: 16819 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois
♀ 21183
Member # 21183
Default  Posted: 12:38 AM, January 8th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I hope you can work out the sitter - SO you can continue your IC.

It's hard to say how: But you will "KNOW" when it's time to stop seeing your IC...and the time to stop should not be dictated by child-care-issues.
Talk to your IC -Maybe something can be worked out through the IC's office.
Also - check with your local churches; many of them have "Mom's Day Out" services.

Good Luck.

Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.

Posts: 6216 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: PA
Topic Posts: 6

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