SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

naivewife posted 1/7/2014 14:07 PM

I'm considering at least taking some time off from IC - mainly because I've been bringing my baby with me and he's now at the point where he's no longer a sleeping infant in my arms and he wants to walk around and screams if I don't let him. So as you can imagine, I'm not getting a lot out of it! For now, I have no childcare options. My only hesitations is that my IC is the only person besides WH I have to talk about the A, and I am hitting the pinnacle of A season here and it's been really hard. I would keep doing MC every other week. But I worry that I'd fall apart if I stop my weekly IC.
How have the rest of you fared that stopped IC, or had to take an extended break from it? Did it have a big impact on healing and reconciling?

Morhurt posted 1/7/2014 14:11 PM

I think you need to find a way to keep going. Talk to your FWS, let him help figure out a way. Nights? Weekends? Put a call out for a sitter, on FB maybe (you don't have to say what for)? A family friend?

I think you sound like you are not at all in a good place to be quitting MC. I really think letting your H help you find a solution could be both healing and helpful. Don't stop going.

Rebreather posted 1/7/2014 14:13 PM

If there were only two options, I would go to IC instead of MC. Your spouse can keep the baby while you are there.

RidingHealingRd posted 1/7/2014 14:20 PM

Is it possible for you to have a phone or Skype session with you therapist, possible when your son is napping?

Here is a article from Psychology.com on the subject...

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindfulness-approach/201007/online-counseling-therapy-service-skype

One day I was unable to make my IC session so she phoned me. The conversation felt no different then the ones I had sitting in her office.

sisoon posted 1/7/2014 16:34 PM

I've ended IC only when I've accomplished my goals, when I refuse to change in the area that has come up, or when the therapist or I have moved to a new city.

It sounds like you want to accomplish more and need support, so I, too, think you should do your best to find a sitter.

The sessions will probably be more effective without your child - after all, infants call for a lot of attention.

Dare2Trust posted 1/8/2014 00:38 AM

naivewife,

I hope you can work out the sitter - SO you can continue your IC.

It's hard to say how: But you will "KNOW" when it's time to stop seeing your IC...and the time to stop should not be dictated by child-care-issues.
Talk to your IC -Maybe something can be worked out through the IC's office.
Also - check with your local churches; many of them have "Mom's Day Out" services.

Good Luck.