Hi honey. Welcome to SI. You have been betrayed...your marital status isn't a factor.
Im so sorry. You are no longer alone. You have an army of people next to you. We are holding your hand. We will help you through this. You will be ok..I promise.
First..you need to be tested for STD's. Him too. And no sex until you have his results.
If he wants to R he must:
Be transparent. You get full access to all of his accounts and his phone.
He used facebook to cheat? he needs to delete his account.
He needs to write NC e,ails to all OW..and you send them.
He must answer all of your questions without anger or blame. Nothing you did or didn't do made him cheat.
He must own his shit. This is ALL his responsibility.
He must be remorseful. No regretful. regret is impatient and angry. remorse is all about you and helping you heal.
He needs to go to IC to figure out why he did this. The real why.
What is he doing to show you he wants to R?
Do these OW have husbands or boyfriends? If so, you need to consider telling them their WW's cheated on them. They need to be tested and they deserve the truth, just as you do.
Be very careful. He is in CYA mode and is probably lying. It is very rare that a WS tells the entire truth off the bat. But you need to tell him you need to know everything NOW..to find out bits of the truth here and there (TT) is torture.
You need to take care of yourself. Eat. Sleep. Drink plenty of water.
Im so sorry he did this to you. but Im so glad you found us. We understand.
M: June 2001
Status: Reconciled. Love my "new" husband!
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.