SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I have been single since our divorce (almost 3 yrs). Not even really the slightest possibility of a date. I'm attractive, but I have weight to lose, I guess that's the deal breaker. I get hit on from time to time, but never asked out. The thing is I'm not even really trying to lose the weight any more. And I kind of think if nobody wants me for who I am right now it's not worth it. So I guess I just picture myself as always being single at 37. Does anyone else feel this way? Like love is just not in the cards for them?

I feel the same way, I am almost 38. I feel like my situation stops me from even pursuing any future relationship as well.

I'm only 29 and feel the same. I'm mostly fine with it. I'm much better off on my own and taking care of my son. The risks of a relationship are too big for me. I know it sounds bitter and defeated but I'm not bitter.Most certainly jaded though. I'm just exhausted and don't think I'll ever want to risk so much again for someone else. I'll find other things to fill my life with and I have my son. I'll be happy without a SO. The risk of bringing someone in my son's life who may only destroy us is also too much for me. I'd rather find other things to fill my life with.

I think it's very rare to find someone to spent a lifetime with without heartache. Not worth it for me. Just isn't. Then again I had a particularly psychopathic ex and before him I was in an abusive relationship (which seems rosy compared to xwh) so I've had particular bad experiences and it's scarred me for life. I'm making peace with it. One day at a time. Learning to enjoy life for what I already have and can build for myself and my son.

Besides I'm a single mom to a toddler. Sole custody. No time for dating. No interest. Much rather spent my free time on things with better odds of a good outcome.

The only thing I miss is sex. lol

Ehh…I think it is a stage of healing somehow. I get asked out a lot, via OLD, and go on a lot of dates…but nothing has really worked, or no one turns MY head. I kinda have to force myself to date.

Something about putting yourself out there is scary. Protecting ourselves from the possibility of future pain is waaaay easier than investing in a relationship.

I'm 43, S for 3 years, d-day was when I was 39. I used to think I'd be married and happy now (close to 4 years post d-day), but I think I've kinda given up on ever being in a relationship again. If someone takes me by surprise, then so be it.

Im not really looking any more. I'm accepting dates, but Im kinda going in with "Well, I wonder what the hell his 'problem' is…". I don't want to have to deal with someone else's "problems".

Maybe I"m just rambling, but a lot of us hit the "plain of lethal flatness" at one point or another, many of us multiple times over. I think it is normal, I just don't know what it means.

Amen.

I'll be 56 soon. I'm wrapping my head around the fact I'll be on my own for the rest of my life.

I live out in the boonies where there are more deer than eligible males. Yes...there are single guys, but I've got standards.

(sigh)

k9

K9, I'm your neighbor!

I live in a remote area also. I am 45, slightly overweight and never get hit on - even online.

On the plus side, I have all my teeth, am gainfully employed, own my house, can carry a conversation, travel, and am well read.

It's their loss, but it does get lonely sometimes. I haven't given up, but I'm not really looking extremely hard either.

Nice to know others are in the same place I am I guess! Agree with what so many of you said about not wanting to be that emotionally involved again. And I think on some level I use my weight as a buffer. I understand that being physically attracted to someone is important, but there are sooo many people who you can be physically attracted to. And so many ways you can find something on someone else unphysically attractive. So if weight is a deal breaker with a guy then what happens if someone skinnier comes by, or with better curves, legs, hair, etc. I saw in the past how quickly this supposedly unbreakable bond can be dissolved. And between commercials and social media we are constantly having something "better" flaunted in front of us testing a bond that wasn't that string to begin with if it was only based in physical attraction. I think my ex married me bc he was physically attracted to me. And when I gained weight and he wasn't anymore it was very easy to turn his eye. I don't want that again.

And I kind of think if nobody wants me for who I am right now it's not worth it

I am 4 yrs out and feel more and more comfortable with me.

I will not lose weight in hopes of attracting someone. Like you, they need to want me for me.

When (if) I lose weight; it will be for me. It goes both ways - I want to meet someone for who they really are too.

Sidestory - about a year ago I was feeling down. I remember thinking I wished someone would show interest just to give me a boost.

Welp, they did......he was so interested that he would marry me if I wanted. I am not interested in him like that....just as friends.

I had to laugh because I asked for validation and I get this guy that shows up with a HUGE cross tattooed on his forehead with lightning bolts on each side. He looks like he could scare the bejeebies out of anyone in a dark alley. He wouldn't hurt a soul but I had to chuckle at how you have to be careful what you wish for because I sure was not envisioning this as my esteem boost

Disclaimer - nothing against tattoos. I sport a rockin' Tweety Bird.