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User Topic: Dream about X W H
Newlease
♀ 7767
Member # 7767
Question  Posted: 9:12 AM, January 8th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I couldn't be more surprised - it's coming up on 9 years since the D. I have so moved on - no anger left a XWH. But I woke up crying in the middle of the night from a dream that featured him. He was holding my hands and dangling me out of a second floor opening. I was so scared that he would let go that I cried out and woke up with tears - lying beside SO.

I find myself getting ever more comfortable with SO - he is so kind to me. But he is older (65 to my 53) and has had some health issues lately. So I feel that he will leave me some day (due to death-not cheating). And I struggle to maintain some independence. I was so entwined with XWH that it was so hard to be alone - sleep alone - deal with all those life issues alone.

I lived on my own for 8 years after my D and got pretty comfortable being on my own, but now (since moving in together in October) I'm getting all comfortable with SO - depending on him. I think maybe I'm fearing that closeness and dependency because I know it will be taken from me again.

Not really looking for anything - just doing a little arm-chair analysis of my dream.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7807 | Registered: Aug 2005
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, January 8th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe it represents you finally letting go of everything associated with him?


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3559 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, January 8th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think maybe I'm fearing that closeness and dependency because I know it will be taken from me again.
This makes a whole lot of sense, NL. ((((hugs))))


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26476 | Registered: Aug 2011
gma56
♀ 19595
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, January 8th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not really looking for anything - just doing a little arm-chair analysis of my dream
The dream sounds as if you are letting go of the final attachments you had with XH.
He will now be forever in your past history. Not that he wasn't for 9 yrs but now you have a wonderful relationship with SO that you are accepting more each day.

. I think maybe I'm fearing that closeness and dependency because I know it will be taken from me again.
Yes it can be taken away and that is why you love every minute of of your relationship right now and don't regret anything or take it for granted. It is scary to give love but you won't regret not giving too much only if you don't give enough. Count your blessings you have today.
I'm very happy for you !

Gma

[This message edited by gma56 at 9:48 PM, January 8th (Wednesday)]


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20387 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Topic Posts: 4

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