I couldn't be more surprised - it's coming up on 9 years since the D. I have so moved on - no anger left a XWH. But I woke up crying in the middle of the night from a dream that featured him. He was holding my hands and dangling me out of a second floor opening. I was so scared that he would let go that I cried out and woke up with tears - lying beside SO.
I find myself getting ever more comfortable with SO - he is so kind to me. But he is older (65 to my 53) and has had some health issues lately. So I feel that he will leave me some day (due to death-not cheating). And I struggle to maintain some independence. I was so entwined with XWH that it was so hard to be alone - sleep alone - deal with all those life issues alone.
I lived on my own for 8 years after my D and got pretty comfortable being on my own, but now (since moving in together in October) I'm getting all comfortable with SO - depending on him. I think maybe I'm fearing that closeness and dependency because I know it will be taken from me again.
Not really looking for anything - just doing a little arm-chair analysis of my dream.