If you have been following anything that has been happening, you know we are on a up and down rollercoater ride for the last couple of months.
As a WW or WH what have you done to get through it.
I am and I do keep falling. I am at the point again that I feel immobile. I am learning things about myself, And I am learning to be appreciative of the things I have and those around me. I am saddened, disappointed and ashamed for not doing something before or seeing it clearly. I am ashamed that I let my shame of childhood, my feeling of unworthiness and underserving let me rule my life. I am taking it back and I am living better.
But ...
My fear of rejection is strong , but I'm pushing through it. I'm staying vulnerable and keeping my walls down. At the same time I fight the desire to close off. I hope and dream, and yet it doesn't seem enough.
I work on myself for myself, yet feel guilty for doing so, I want to get better, I only have 40 years left and I've wasted a lot of unused happiness because of my thinking and coping, I don't want to anymore.
How do I do this , how do I move forward when the one I want to come with me can't yet or may never be able too?
I know healing is different for everyone. But how do you go forward and leave the other person behind. Or not feel guilty for healing.
I know my reasons, they hit me on a daily basis, I am aware of the things I say and do , I think of the consequences, and yet to move forward to feel better about myself feels so wrong. As wrong as my decision to cheat were.
What did you do or are doing.?
