WS how did you feel when this happened to you? What helped you get through?
My H has threatened this many times since DDay (it's been less than a month for us). He said he wants to bc he wants someone else to feel the pain that he is feeling. But ultimately decides it probably wouldn't make him feel much better.
How could I possibly do this? This isn't who I am really?
I've had similar feelings. I can only take it day by day and hope that things get better with dedication and time. Are you in IC?
With every letter I wrote my own feelings of self-hatred grew. The last one I wrote took me three hours (for three paragraphs) because I kept getting physically ill. I still do when my BH starts in on one of his angry rants. I'm exhausted (have nearly stopped sleeping), am anxious (everything makes me jump), and on the brink of tears constantly. I guess that means I'm overwhelmed.
I too take every day one minute at a time.
He felt that he had to do something to get back at me/the OM. He now feels that that was the "cowardly" way of doing it and wishes he had confronted the OM directly. But I think that's because they were already splitting and she didn't care.
It sucks and I'm sorry you are going though this. There is just nothing about any of this that doesn't suck. For us WS and our BS. :(
My BH didn't want to tell OM's W. He threatened the OM with it, figuring he'd use it to hang over his head. He told him if he contacts me again he will tell. He never did.
I think it's important to understand where the BS is coming from and anger directed towards him/her isn't appropriate.
Like someone said, this all sucks. The fallout from our actions is seemingly never ending. We (no pun intended) made our own beds. The AP's BS isn't suffering because our spouse is telling, they are suffering because of our (and our AP's actions). I think compassion for the BSs in these situations is where we need to be putting our focus.
