SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

2goodannie posted 1/8/2014 22:04 PM

My WH's birthday is this week, do I acknowledge it? I am trying to stick to the 180, even though we are living in the same house. I took the kids shopping to get him a few gifts, but I am struggling with this. I have celebrated 20 birthdays with him. He told me that there has been NC with OW, but I don't know if I believe him and if that is true, I am curious if she will come out of the shadows and make contact with him on his birthday...but then, why do I care?!

KatieG posted 1/9/2014 02:21 AM

I read your profile and as you're doing the 180 and it says no gifts its a tricky one.

Personally, I think, in the spirit of 180, give a neutral card and maybe a small token gift. If only for the children to see you are strong.

wonderpets posted 1/9/2014 06:32 AM

IMO, taking the kids to get him gifts is effort enough. Tell him happy birthday and be done.

NeverAgain2013 posted 1/9/2014 08:32 AM

IMO, taking the kids to get him gifts is effort enough. Tell him happy birthday and be done.

Annonymouse posted 1/9/2014 11:22 AM

Thanks for posting this question. My WH has a bday coming up and I'm torn about what to do. We're in the beginning of R, but I don't want to seem desperate.

inthedark14 posted 1/9/2014 12:08 PM

I'm in the same boat , WH BDAY is tomoro and I ALWAYS throw him a party, usually just a small dinner with our few close friends and few family members and the kids always look forward to it, I'm not doin the 180, idk IF I will havnt decided yet, but I am not throwing him a party this year but We r just having a small celebration with just us and the kids, went going to our vacation home(where the A took place , I kno I must b The dumbest person alive) but I am doing it for my kids,not him, bcuz I'm TRYNG to b as normal as I can in this very abnormal situation. I am NOT buying him a gift or a card , I will take my kids to the store today so THEY can pick him out a card & gift but I won't pay for it I told them to ask him for money this morning lol so I feel for u

Getting to Happy posted 1/9/2014 12:36 PM

Why would you buy a gift or celebrate with anyone who lied and cheated you, tried to blow up your family.

The fact that you are still around is his gift, a really big gift.

And that skank better not show show her ugly face.

Better yet buy him a can of 'Whore-be-Gone' for his BD!

GAH!

2goodannie posted 1/9/2014 16:51 PM

Thanks Getting to Happy for the laugh! It has been a long time since I've had anything to smile about. Gift=me

mandan66 posted 1/9/2014 16:57 PM

Yep---just what Wonderpets said:
the kids got him a gift; that's more than enough.

BrokenMomof2 posted 1/9/2014 18:05 PM

WH's birthday was about a month after d-day. I took our kids to get him a small gift from them and they made their own cards.
I managed to mumble Happy Birthday at the dinner table.

gutfeeling posted 1/9/2014 18:26 PM

No gift!

foolishlycluless posted 1/9/2014 18:35 PM

My WH's birthday was a few days ago, and since we are attempting R, I took him to dinner at the local sports bar so he could watch his hometown hockey team's game. Gave him a card too, talking about "bumps in the road" and he cried when he opened it.

2goodannie posted 1/9/2014 19:45 PM

I did let the kids buy him a few things...at the Dollar Store! Totally passive/aggressive and it felt great!