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livebythesea posted 1/9/2014 12:42 PM

I am literally falling apart. Little by little. Some days I am strong, but most days I question my feelings, question my mind. Today, I discovered a porn site which I believe H has been visiting.

Our deal breaker was NO PORN. I have asked him a few times whether or not he visits those sites, and he swears that he does not. Ok. So be it. But I still don't believe him, right? So I keep looking in the browser. Nothing. So it seems.

We have an Ipad i OS 7.04. which has the Private browser. I'm sure he discovered that button.

Anyway, today, I discovered a site which was browsed. Yap. That is his style. I asked my 20 year old son if he had viewed that site. He said NO. So, who else.

I will confront him when he gets home. I know he will deny it. HOW CAN YOU DENY EVIDENCE. But he does.

You see it's not the fact that he is viewing those sites. The part which breaks me is that when I ask him he says he is not. And then I have evidence he still is. Even though it was for a min. He is STILL F... LYING. Any advice, I know, and you are right, I dont listen to your advice anyway. I am building up strength.

datura222 posted 1/9/2014 13:06 PM

Do you have filters blocking porn content at your router or K-9 filters on all of your devices?

If not, he could be using google chrome incognito or any other private browser to be looking.

I read your profile...his reluctance to take a polygraph is unsettling to me.

Do you think he might be SA?

tushnurse posted 1/9/2014 13:10 PM

Hey LBTS, Where you been girl?
I was thinking about you the other day. I hope you are holding up and finding your strength.

All I can say is what I always say, HE is broken, and HE refuses to see it, address it, and do anything about it.

YOU know this, YOU deserve more. I hope you stop letting the fear of the unknown keep you sidelined. You know that your current life is pretty sad, lonely, and unfulfilling. You don't need him to find your happiness.

((((and strength))))

outtanowhere posted 1/9/2014 18:53 PM

LBTS, why wouldnt he lie to you? It works for him and you make it easy for him. He is gaslighting you. Trying to make you believe you didn't see what you saw. It's hard to accept the truth but, until you do, the pain continues. Break out girl! Let him know you are sure of what you know and, be prepared to make him face REAL consequences.

fourever posted 1/9/2014 20:07 PM

I've been worried about you, too. Keep gaining strength. When you are ready to listen and put yourself first, you know there is a huge cheering section here for you.

one2ndchance posted 1/9/2014 23:09 PM

One of the things I learned is that if you make a "deal breaker" and he breaks the deal, the BIGGEST mistake you can make is to do nothing. It teaches him that you don't mean what you say. It teaches him that you will tolerate his lies.

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