in the meantime, i was wondering if i would be able to get perhaps more info from anyone here about this special real estate legal animal!
My question is below....
Basics: Cohabitating Couple, 14 years. Own house 6 years jointly, joint tenants in common, mortage also joint.
Truth: i paid probably 85% of monies into house and I would LIKE that to be reflected in any profit upon sale. SOB has used me, stolen from me (literally) and more.
I don't even care if it costs me as much as it keeps from him. I am not a adversarial person, but in this case, he's used me so very much and atrociously (QUITE) I feel I have to do it (if possible) for the sake of self-empowerment.
In any case, quick phone call with attorney said it can be complex ranging from $3,000 to ???.
What is involved?
I have the records to prove that I have paid XXXXXXXX whereas he has paid X. What else do they consider? That he mowed the lawn? That he did the dishes? Seriously, why would a partition edit deed be so complex and expensive.
THANKS. consult with 2 attorney's next week and I'm trying to prepare. information would be helpful and I realize I cannot take anything you say as legal counsel!!! UGH please help. THANK YOU
You're asking the court to change an already legally binding document which is the original agreement you signed to buy the property as joint tenants, making each of you equal half owners.
I'm all for sticking it to your ex, but understand that you have to pay the hit man.
It's hard to see the road ahead if you're always looking in the rear view mirror.
attorney said STARTING at $3000, how high could it GO? and WHY? I will not have a million pages of numbers unless they consider intangibles; if it's "Just the facts" i have them!!!!
Would it drag out? and WHY? I have ZERO experience with courts and ZERO adversarial friends.
Whatever profit might accrue to him in house sale, well i'd actually rather have it go to an attorney than him. Seriously.
Because he's a thief. And I'll be dammed if he's doing to profit from his use/abuse of me, more than he already has.
I've struggled with just walking away, wishing him well, all in the best of religious traditions, but then he'll get a nice check. So he can just walk with a bounce in his step with his check. All for my slave labor, essentially.
Anyway, I a too nice, too forgiving, too understanding, flexible, etc etc sweet generous kind person (except when I'm furious, in which case I can be scarey!) and he's taken horrible advantage of me.
anyone else with court stories or warnings or anything please share lessons if you are able. I have no clue what i'm really getting into and i'm scared. TY TY TY TY
Once you've selected an attorney, good communication is essential. Also keep your eye on the prize. In a contentious, emotionally charged matter, it can be easy to want to spend more in legal fees than you stand to gain from a favorable outcome in the litigation just so you can stick it to them. Don't be that guy.
How could the "facts" be disputed if bank records show money paid by me to mortgage, utilities, etc.
What OTHER facts could come into play?
I "get" that facts can be disputed. Can he claim that he paid me cash?
The cold sweat you mention also scares me.
I do not want to be the person who destroys herself to destroy him.
I just feel, rather rationally, that he does not deserve any of the profit, or very very little, since he did not pay and has been living off the sweat of my back. He's a con man and he's played me like a fiddle.
It's really about sticking up for my rights and not to let him CONTINUE to use/abuse me.
And i hear ya. Gotta know limits.
or is all that inadmissible.
like will the judge care if he
1. didn't pay the IRS
2. had a drunk in public
3. has numerous speeding and driving without tags tickets
4. declared bankruptcy, has had bad credit for most of life
reason i'm asking is the consultation with attorney goes REALLY quickly and I'm trying to get my LIST of questions very tight
and trying to understand as much as possible so when attorney answers my questions, i actually might understand.
The thing about brief chats with attorneys is that most people who call one up are certain they are right, that they will win. It is great that you have records. However, the attorney, after a brief chat, has to be conservative. He/she has no idea what your xso's case looks like, whether yours is as good as it sounds, so that's why you were presented with a range. Many people who call attorneys don't give the full story in the first conversation. I'm not suggesting you did not, but it is something you get used to. How high it could go, or possible arguments xso could make are issues best discussed with your attorney.
Edit: I wouldn't count on the character evidence being allowed.
[This message edited by roughroadahead at 10:46 PM, January 9th (Thursday)]
If for nothing else, monies spent on an attorney and the process could be very educational.
I've never regretted any of my paid education, even when it didn't result in tangible career gains. I value education for it's own sake.
Your note helped me to get cracking on my own "discovery" so that I am not fooling myself at all......EXCELLENT comment about attorney knowing that only one side is coming in on a consult. Helpful!!!! Thank you.
Fear...that I won't understand much of consult. Wish I could record so I can review later. You know what it's like when you're nervous and trying to understand A LOT of new info. Mind can get scrambled. As the 10th of an hour clicks away. Frightening!
"You can lead a narcissist to evidence, but you can't stop him from dismissing it."
I'm not going to lose my head.
I'm going to investigate my rights, and then rationally decide what is best course of action.
I heed your warning. The money will never be mine. It will either go to an attorney or to STBX.
I cant win. but i might (?) Be able to stop him from taking more.
Some sound advice to you, unload the house, split the profit, and run like hell. You will save yourself $3000 (even consider it part of the profit.), and a lot of frustration.
This isn't an over-night process, court dates, document-gathing, appraisals, etc...
Why put yourself through this --
He used you, cut your losses, and use it as a learning experience. The faster you cut ties with him, the quicker the healing process begins.
As much as good revenge sounds, it isn't as good as your freedom, and getting away from this asshole!
Maybe if my attorney show. s him the numbers and the case against him, maybe he will agree to a mediation based on the numbers.
And if this process involves documents gathering, and he doesnt have an attorney to do that, maybe he'll throw up his hands and throw in the towel.
Maybe this is a fantasy! But maybe legal pressure will make him give up. And maybe then I can run like hell.
settlement proposal sounds good!!!!!!!!
What happens if he gets sued and cannot afford an attorney and had no idea how to defend himself?
Seriously, could it become my responsibility to do his discovery?
Or if he has lack of evidence to contest, would that mean that the judge will be more likely to rule in my favor?
I understand there are variables. But basic: no attorney, no defense.
Please excuse my bolds. I am obviously a bit passionate about this subject!!! It's not even revenge! It's actually justice. I'm not trying to take from him, but to protect what's rightfully mine.