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Hi all.

I was hoping for some help in wording an email I need to send to XH regarding spousal support.

We were divorced last Friday, the spousal support payments were suppose to start 1/1/14 per the divorce decree.

He gets paid Thursdays, and I checked today and the money hadn't gone in.

I know he is just seething, because he signed over his entire pension to me on Wednesday.

I want to send him an email asking him when I can expect my spousal support. I'm just having trouble coming up with the right words. Still trying not to anger him, and I really don't want to have to go after him with my lawyer for contempt. My lawyer said technically he's not in contempt until the end of the month.

My stomach is in knots again.

THanks.

When my third support payment was late, I sent an email kinda like this:

EX, per our decree, my support payment is late. If you do not set up automatic payments by xx date, I will have your wages garnished.

Oh, also, I contacted the HR department of his employer for options (legally, the money IS yours…). They made the suggestion that he could have his paycheck deposited into two accounts, so that is ultimately what we did. He doesn't have to "remember", or easily put a stop to the payment via his bank. The payment comes directly from his employer

Ex knew I was dead serious too. I would have garnished his wages if something didn't change.

Don't worry about being nice, and don't worry about making small talk. Keep your note brief and to the point.

He's not on your team any more. You need to worry about you and your team.

Garnish those wages, fuck him.

Check with your state child support agency so you are clear on their procedures for garnishment. It might be wiser to bide your time, if you can, and let him hang himself, so it is a slam dunk for garnishment. I know this is sometimes not possible.

You really want a garnishment.... been there done that myself.

It took NPD-x a long while to realize court orders were not suggestions and that CS was between him and the state.

Start garnishment paperwork. Don't bother with an email.

A reminder email will get nothing. He already knows and is testing you to see what he can get away with.

It is the right time to set a precident to let him know what to expect when he defaults. Otherwise he will just keep doing it. I know this from experience!

I am fortunate to have a line of credit set up at the bank and I live on that until I get the money. In the past I have sold things.

See your Lawyer and tell him you want action now.

If you have kids and are getting CS, the state will garnish CS and alimony. I would skip the email and start the process for getting the payments garnished. He knows the payment is due!

Thank you all!!

No CS, just SS.

I will get on it. :0)

My state will NOT garnish spousal support. A filing of contempt is the route that you will have to take, which as you know, you have to wait to do.

I would go "crickets" on this. If he is withholding the payment to rile you up, deny him the show. If the payment does not come, and you email him I would say something like

ex, spousal support in the amount of xyz was due on 1/1 and again on 2/1. If I file with the court for contempt, I will ask that the court order you to pay all costs associated with the filing.

Then I would not send any further communication to him. If payment did not come within 10 days, I would file and see him in court.

You have taken away so many of the ways he is used to yanking you around. He is looking for new ways. Don't reward this behavior with attention. Attention = positive feedback. Consequences = negative.