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StillLivin posted 1/10/2014 10:09 AM

I'm changing my last name back to my maiden name after the D is final.
How long does it take to get used to your maiden name?
It took me about a year to get used to the M last name. Everytime someone called me by the last name (I was military), I looked, but only because I was looking for my H.
Then I would realize it was me they were calling.
I don't want to take a whole year to get used to my "real" last name.

Crescita posted 1/10/2014 10:15 AM

Oh it was pretty instantaneous for me. I had my maiden name for 24 year and only had my married for 3 years. There were still things with my maiden name I hadn't gotten around to changing

ISPIFFD posted 1/10/2014 12:34 PM

It took me awhile. At first, even though it was the name I used since I was born, I hadn't used it in 28 years, so it just sounded and felt sort of foreign for quite a few months. Getting used to signing it took even longer. In fact, when I initial things now, I'm just as likely to intial IB as ID. No one really seems to care, but it's just a muscle memory

Nature_Girl posted 1/10/2014 12:43 PM


Chrysalis123 posted 1/10/2014 13:02 PM

Personally it was instant. Took friends a while.

Funny story... I am a teacher and did not teach the 5 years before my divorce, but taught for 12 years with my married name. I went back to teaching 4 years ago, post divorce, teaching kindergarten.

I would sometimes talk to the kids in third person. I would say "Friends, Mrs. "Married Name", wants you to put your things in your cubby."

I would quickly correct my mis-statement and say, "Ms. Chrysalis wants you to put your things away."

Finally, one little kid said who is this "Mrs. Married Name" you keep talking about?

It took me several months to deprogram myself. LOL

StillLivin posted 1/10/2014 13:38 PM

Thanks everybody for the prompt responses. I can always count on SI....shame I could rarely count on POS STBX.
Well, been married just shy of 8 been together about 10.
Feels weird coming off of my tongue when I say my full name with maiden last name.
Think I'll just start practicing writing it a few minutes each day now to get a head start!

wildbananas posted 1/10/2014 15:12 PM

Pretty quickly... I was ready. I was so ready, I started using it again before it was legal for me to do so.

neverbeokay posted 1/10/2014 15:21 PM

I'm so happy I changed back to my maiden name as it was very easy for me to get used to saying it. People said they liked it much better; I do too!

dignityintact posted 1/10/2014 16:17 PM

this post is so relevant to me!!

I've been toying with the idea for a few months now - my divorce is now in process, and yesterday I decided I was going to revert to my maiden name when it is finished! I'm really excited about it. I had my maiden name for 20 yrs, and then had his name for 20 yrs.

My rational was that if our marriage breakdown had been "nice" I probably would not feel so strongly about it all. However, I do not wish to be associated with a cruel, selfish and heartless man!

I was worried about the kids, but they understand, and it's quite common place these days.

phmh posted 1/10/2014 19:03 PM

I had XWH's last name for 11 years. It didn't take as long as I thought it would to adjust. Maybe a couple of weeks after the divorce was final?

I do have one rather funny story. I'm a runner, and signed up for a marathon that took place about 3 months after D-Day and 2 months before my D was final. I'd signed up using my maiden name, even though that wasn't my name yet.

When I went to pick up my number, it wasn't there because I went to my married name's line. I promised them I'd signed up, I didn't have any money with me to pay the fees again, could I run it and send a check in later since my registration must not have gone through?

The lady was so gracious, and about mile 14 or so I realized why I couldn't find my number! I found the lady after the race and we had a good laugh about it.

Got2GO posted 1/10/2014 20:27 PM

Omg! If you can believe this I never really got use to my married name! I didn't want to change my name but he insisted. As soon as I divorced I went back to my maiden name!
I don't think I'll marry again but if I do I would never change my name.

BrokenDaisy posted 1/10/2014 20:40 PM

Was almost instantaneous. Could be because the sound of his surname revolts me now. Changed my son's surname to mine too. So I'll have this surname the rest of my life whether I remarry ( not happening) or not!

Snapdragon posted 1/10/2014 21:22 PM

I'm with Got2GO! I never really got used to my married name. But when I got divorced I chose a surname that I wanted. It wasn't my maiden name. I didn't want my cheating father's name again. I chose one that pleased me and I adapted to it IMMEDIATELY!

Bluebird26 posted 1/10/2014 23:43 PM

For me not long at all. For others it took them a while Even nearly 3 years later my boss still has my email address in her address book as BB26 Married Name.

Hardest thing was changing my signature back, that took a bit of practise.

I absolutely hate it now when people use my married name, I'm like no that person is dead like the marriage

newnormal posted 1/11/2014 07:25 AM

It's taking me a little while, but it's all good. I went from a 4 letter married name to a mile long, unpronounceable maiden name. People struggle to pronounce it and when they look at me and say I give up, I say "now you can understand how badly I wanted to get rid of that name".

I took my maiden name because I wanted to get back to basics, start over. Unanticipated bonus: it really bothers X when he calls my office.

cmego posted 1/11/2014 08:36 AM

I've had my married name almost as long as my maiden name…20 years now. With small kids, it just seems easier not to change my name. The kids freaked out when I talked to them about it…so..ehh. It doesn't bother me any longer. If I remarry, then I'll change names and keep my married name as my middle name for signing "things" for the kids. School forms, etc. They want the name connection to me, and I don't blame them.

Maybe it is good I've been separated for so long, I've let go of those issues. I remember the first year I couldn't wait to go back to my maiden name, and even called myself by that name. Just one of those things that time "fixed" for me.

cayc posted 1/11/2014 11:55 AM

I didn't change my name because my D was finalized 3 weeks in to a new job & it seemed so awkward to change it then.

I also have a significant number of people who call me by my maiden name as a first name my maiden name has turned into one of those trendy androgynous names for girls so it sort of works I guess.

I go by the "a rose by any other name ..." theory. And since I'm one of the ones who wants to remarry, I plan on changing to a whole new name then

fraeuken posted 1/11/2014 12:03 PM

I did not change it either. It would be too complicated between my Green Card, Passports etc. I might do it once my children have moved on from school and my Green Card and Passport need renewal.

I don't have a problem with carrying the name at this point. I am still very much part of his family so in an odd way I feel like I still belong to something.

And, my married name is so much prettier than my maiden name Ok, that's totally shallow.

cass posted 1/11/2014 12:30 PM

I only had my maiden name for 19 years, very short, only four letters. My married name was a complicated Scottish/Nordic name with English and other European complicated variations. I had this name for 20 plus years. It had 9 letters but could be spelled and pronounced a hundred different ways. I was forever correcting people and spelling it out for others.

It was a delight to return to my uncomplicated maiden name (when XH remarried and also both daughters married) but truthfully am still answering to both but using only one. I officially changed it back in 2009 but have still not got to the end of the list of people/companies I need to inform.

One day I will be completely rid of the married name and if I ever marry again will retain my own name.

I thought about my ancestry and their surnames. A friend invented an entirely new surname from letter of her ancesters but after much considereation I decided that I would return to my maiden name which I really like.

Good luck. Do what you want for yourself.

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