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The irony

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cancuncrushed posted 1/10/2014 12:29 PM

My DD happily called to tell me OW#2 got engaged over Christmas, and panicking about wedding details, her family has decided they want my DD to be their only wedding planner...My DD never knew about OW#2, it was out of control flirting between H and OW#2 at DD's wedding and shower and rehearsal dinner!!! I protected DD from this. Later, when H was obsessing over golf, I learned OW#2 started working at golf course....H never mentioned this. (THE fights were huge over her)He never returned to the golf course once I was told by someone else.... OW#2 is SA. She was 24, H was 50. OW#2 looked exactly like OW#1. I heard about her being a SA long before DD's wedding. (I have to remind everyone, H has never confessed to anything with anybody.)

Its DD's dream to be a wedding planner. She is very talented...ANd currently hating her job. This has nothing to do with H or me. Its just the irony and alot of unanswered questions. if DD does the work, I will have to hear every detail , for her first planning job. ANd the venting...I can never tell her what was going on at her own wedding.... We are very close. She will want to share her experiences, not realizing. This triggered me in a major way.

Irony #2---- OW#1 also got engaged over Christmas. First relationship in 5 yrs. Since H.
OW#1 is sharing the news and inviting the coworkers at H office. OW#1 was coworker. I feel sure one coworker will be in the wedding party. Its been 5 yrs. It has nothing to do with H and I.....its just the irony. (OW#1 fiance is not as attractive, but has same features and coloring as H, and is older , too) sickening tidbits.

Its a test. I just dont understand how these people keep popping up, when DD, OW#1 and OW#2 all moved away, and ended up in the same city.. too close. Its just ironic.
The trigger has settled down. My DD has not agreed yet, and ironically she was offered another job ( not planning) , on the same day....She may possibly, not do it. I have my fingers crossed. There could be a bright side, the skanks being married... I m not sure either marriage will make it, after the wedding. This is about money. They have no morals.
Ironically, this was the holiday I was trying my hardest. I was giving it my all to be past everything at a higher level.

[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 1:19 PM, January 10th (Friday)]

MovingUpward posted 1/10/2014 14:06 PM


I can see why this is triggery. Wishing you strength and peace in the days ahead.

megs56 posted 1/10/2014 14:16 PM


Sorry that you are dealing with all of that!! I totally understand why you are triggering and I empathize with you.

cancuncrushed posted 1/11/2014 09:40 AM

OK.. That didnt go so well. H decided we should get chinese and grab a drink at the bar. I have not slept in two days and have eaten very little.
I had two beers only. I was very drunk on two beers. Sad, I know.
While we were waiting for the to go order, H starts staring and watching our very attractive bartender.....Cannot stop watching her ass go back and forth and back and forth. I give credit , he did try to be secretive, and not be obvious, but I saw... He watched forever.
Yep. This has been building. ANd I let it rip. We fought for hours. About all of everything since the beginning of time. ANd H also stared at OW church on way home......ALways does. THe divorce word came out. ........Ive been triggering. This was really bad.
H uses semantics. He basically says hes normal man, men look and I have issues. He didnt look. He stares for 20 min. He often stalks and stands near them. Leaving me alone. (not last night, but this is his usual) We discussed semantics. He used semantics to discuss semantics. We are not speaking. We are at a new bottom. I am seriously looking for a new therapist. We seem to always be here in January. Which was the DD after TTs. With still no full confessions. I am a mess. I did tell him, the OW#1 was getting married. There was a pause and pain? I was not happy about it. Now,,,,, theres that.

[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 9:57 AM, January 11th (Saturday)]

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