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Why can't I vent?

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SusanR posted 1/10/2014 18:08 PM

WH told me the last week that he didn't read my email because he thought it was "just you venting". It wasn't. I asked a lot of questions that he refuses to answer but, even if it was a vent, wouldn't a contrite spouse read it? He said he'd rather not have to read long emails and that I shouldn't ask more than one question in an email. Really? He thinks he should be telling me how I should communicate with him.

He asked me to "throw him a bone". I think maybe I should throw it at him!

I am obviously going through an anger phase. It feels better than the sadness phases. I wish it would last longer! Almost a year out and I'm still riding the roller coaster.

Phoenix1 posted 1/10/2014 18:14 PM

One question per email so he can better keep his lies straight. Too many questions makes it too complicated!

XPOS used to tell me that I asked too many questions, made too much out of nothing, etc., etc. In the end, would never answer ANY of my questions, or with the most vague answers possible...

Anger is good when put to a productive purpose!

Take2 posted 1/10/2014 18:35 PM


Well you are right - you could vent to a contrite spouse. That isn't what you are dealing with apparently.

caregiver9000 posted 1/10/2014 18:35 PM

So just put your question in the subject line, and then he can respond with his answer. It will make searching for his answers easier.

He is a controlling twit isn't he?

I also enjoyed the anger phase. It doesn't last forever....

BAB61 posted 1/11/2014 01:46 AM

Ok, I'm confused ...it's a year out from what? Separation? Vent away .... if he can only handle 1 ? at a time send him a bunch of e-mails ... one? per each e-mail.

SusanR posted 1/11/2014 06:45 AM

@BAB - a year out from our 3rd DDay. He agreed to seek SA counseling if I would get a legal separation instead of a divorce. Said he didn't need or want his own attorney. That was in late April, I think. He didn't get any counseling until I moved into our flip house in August. The house wasn't ready for inhabitants but I seriously couldn't live with him a moment longer. The separation agreement wasn't completed by my attorney until early December but he had seen preliminary drafts. He is now balking and saying he will fight it with an attorney of his own.

The house is now quite cute and would sell well. I have put a bunch of sweat equity into it and I fear the domestic courts will make me sell it if he fights the separation. However, that might help me put a nail in coffin of this relationship.

He has until Feb 1 to either accept or submit a rebuttal to the Separation Agreement or we will file a divorce action. My attorney said she is growing quite weary of his delay tactics.

I fully expect, true to form, he will not reply, my attorney will file for a divorce, and he will act offended and surprised when the papers are served. He has already told me that this is going to "get ugly".

I say, "Bring it! You can't possibly hurt me more than you already have."

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