Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: RoreverBlue (61146)

User Topic: Home appraisal hell
♀ 39564
Member # 39564
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sure this must be a topic that comes up frequently but god am I pissed today! We have 3 properties, had all 3 of them appraised by a real estate appraiser. Dumb ass thinks the marital home is worth about 45k more than the appraised value so I said if he thinks that, he has to get all 3 properties reappraised and he has to pay for it. So guess what stupid face is doing?

If our marital home comes back 45k higher or even a bit higher, I most likely can't afford to stay in the home with our kids. Does he even give two craps about them?? About anyone but himself?? Why can't he just say, you know what, I'm the giant jack ass that f'd this whole marriage up so I'll let the house go to my wife so she can continue to care for the kids there instead of uprooting them. Stupid ahole. Instead he's picking through everything like the little grub that he is.

Damn, ranting does feel good.

Me (BS) 41 Him, SA, covert NDP
Married 8 years, 2 young kids

2014 Divorced!!

Posts: 158 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:02 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there. (((hugs))) Ranting does help, or it sure helped me!!

I will hope that regardless of what the appraisals show, you get to stay where you need to. Maybe he just wants a number to show HOW generous he is being when he gives you the house??

You could also offer to accept the equity in the house you want in place of spousal support (like a lump sum settlement). Get creative to get what you need.

Me: 45, independent, happy, despite parallel parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 15 DS 12
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 7052 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. I had a free market analysis done by an expert who specializes in this neighborhood. Ex didn't agree with it, wanted to go by the Zillow number instead. My lawyer said don't be absurd, if you're not happy with the FREE service already provided then get an appraisal, but my client isn't going to pay for it.

So he paid $600 for the appraisal. Which came in exactly at what my expert said it would.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 39564
Member # 39564
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

caregiver9000 we did discuss lump sum that would owe in in place of spousal support but once I calculated out the amount needed to stay in the family home with the kids, it just wouldn't work monthly without some kind of support from him, the mortgage is too high. We just don't have enough assets to fight over, if that makes sense? Too much is in the house. Any other ways of getting creative that you can think of let me know and thanks!

Nature_girl, I'm just crossing my fingers that his second appraisal that he pays for comes back at a similar amount as the first just like yours. They are so arrogant and just know everything. wow, they even know real estate better than anyone else!

Me (BS) 41 Him, SA, covert NDP
Married 8 years, 2 young kids

2014 Divorced!!

Posts: 158 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
♀ 18442
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

make sure you have all 3 of the other reports. if one person says its higher over 3 others, Im fairly sure, they will see this as a ploy and not allow it. and yes, youd think hed realize his kids would lose a home but hes not even going there cause hes not a normal person. i realized what we would do is not where near the same as the jerky ex's. and thats what makes us normal. its what makes them assholes w no conscience

6/07 EX had MANY affairs.
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09. 2 kids. I have 100% custody of. ex rarely sees.
2017: still trying to pick pieces up

Posts: 801 | Registered: Mar 2008
♂ 30221
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When my now ex-w pulled this crap, I told her and her lawyer that they could get all the appraisals they liked. The only thing that mattered was the sale price from a bound, pre-qualified buyer.

If they did not accept the offer I made, which was based upon an appraisal less real estate brokers' fees, we would sell the house (whenever that was and at whatever price it drew) and settle our respective interests then.

They took my offer.

Could something like this work for you?

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11

Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
Topic Posts: 6

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.