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StrongAlone (original poster member #39564) posted at 1:32 AM on Saturday, January 11th, 2014
I'm sure this must be a topic that comes up frequently but god am I pissed today! We have 3 properties, had all 3 of them appraised by a real estate appraiser. Dumb ass thinks the marital home is worth about 45k more than the appraised value so I said if he thinks that, he has to get all 3 properties reappraised and he has to pay for it. So guess what stupid face is doing?
If our marital home comes back 45k higher or even a bit higher, I most likely can't afford to stay in the home with our kids. Does he even give two craps about them?? About anyone but himself?? Why can't he just say, you know what, I'm the giant jack ass that f'd this whole marriage up so I'll let the house go to my wife so she can continue to care for the kids there instead of uprooting them. Stupid ahole. Instead he's picking through everything like the little grub that he is.
Damn, ranting does feel good.
Me (BS) 41 Him, SA, covert NDP
Married 8 years, 2 young kids
2014 Divorced!!
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 2:02 AM on Saturday, January 11th, 2014
Hang in there. (((hugs))) Ranting does help, or it sure helped me!!
I will hope that regardless of what the appraisals show, you get to stay where you need to. Maybe he just wants a number to show HOW generous he is being when he gives you the house??
You could also offer to accept the equity in the house you want in place of spousal support (like a lump sum settlement). Get creative to get what you need.
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 2:08 AM on Saturday, January 11th, 2014
Yep. I had a free market analysis done by an expert who specializes in this neighborhood. Ex didn't agree with it, wanted to go by the Zillow number instead. My lawyer said don't be absurd, if you're not happy with the FREE service already provided then get an appraisal, but my client isn't going to pay for it.
So he paid $600 for the appraisal. Which came in exactly at what my expert said it would.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
StrongAlone (original poster member #39564) posted at 3:12 AM on Saturday, January 11th, 2014
caregiver9000 we did discuss lump sum that would owe in in place of spousal support but once I calculated out the amount needed to stay in the family home with the kids, it just wouldn't work monthly without some kind of support from him, the mortgage is too high. We just don't have enough assets to fight over, if that makes sense? Too much is in the house. Any other ways of getting creative that you can think of let me know and thanks!
Nature_girl, I'm just crossing my fingers that his second appraisal that he pays for comes back at a similar amount as the first just like yours. They are so arrogant and just know everything. wow, they even know real estate better than anyone else!
Me (BS) 41 Him, SA, covert NDP
Married 8 years, 2 young kids
2014 Divorced!!
lifestoshort ( member #18442) posted at 5:04 AM on Saturday, January 11th, 2014
make sure you have all 3 of the other reports. if one person says its higher over 3 others, Im fairly sure, they will see this as a ploy and not allow it. and yes, youd think hed realize his kids would lose a home but hes not even going there cause hes not a normal person. i realized what we would do is not where near the same as the jerky ex's. and thats what makes us normal. its what makes them assholes w no conscience
Im 45. 1st H I left in 2001 after 3 kids. narcassist.
2nd exH had MANY affairs.FALSE R. cheats again. D 5/09. 2 kids. I got 100% custody. ex hasnt seen kids in 6 yrs.
2014 to now: dated highschool sweetheart. He cheated w 23 yr old & left.
Merlin ( member #30221) posted at 5:15 AM on Saturday, January 11th, 2014
When my now ex-w pulled this crap, I told her and her lawyer that they could get all the appraisals they liked. The only thing that mattered was the sale price from a bound, pre-qualified buyer.
If they did not accept the offer I made, which was based upon an appraisal less real estate brokers' fees, we would sell the house (whenever that was and at whatever price it drew) and settle our respective interests then.
They took my offer.
Could something like this work for you?
"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence
Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11
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