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Got the nasty-gram from his L......

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gonnabe2016 posted 1/10/2014 20:00 PM

....because I "refused" him his Monday night. Of course it is chockful of stbx's twisted-up-perception mutterings.

I am so tired of dealing with this moronic bullshit he pulls.....and I can't *talk* to stbx about any issues because of his inability to *hear* what I'm saying. Anytime I bring up a kid-related concern, his response is "I'm a good father, stop insinuating that I'm a bad dad, blahblah, what about when *you* <insert *whatever*>?....." He assumes, insinuates, insults, and plays victim instead of having a productive conversation.

I only have to deal with this placement insanity for 4 more years. My hat is SO off to those of you with littles!

tesla posted 1/10/2014 20:33 PM

Wasted his money on that nasty gram, didn't he?

PurpleRose posted 1/10/2014 20:39 PM

Did he get his money's worth?.

I think so... We are all enjoying the ridiculousness?

gonnabe2016 posted 1/10/2014 20:50 PM

He totally wasted *our* money on this bullshit.
If stbx spent as much time trying to wrap up this D shit as he does running around doing shit that is going to make it take LONGER.....I would have been D'd a freakin' year ago.

We wrote in our placement agreement, at my suggestion, that we are each allotted 10 days of vacation time. The vast majority of the holidays are set as a *whoever* has them *that* day gets them. The only thing that *trumps* vacation time is holiday days or if one of us has informed the other of a special event (tickets to something or a planned trip, etc.).

I utilized 2 of my unused vacation days to take them to a pro football game over their Christmas break. In a nutshell, I *took* one of his weekends with them. Anyway. He's apparently acting like it's a big deal that he didn't *fight* me about taking them that weekend.

READ THE FUCKING AGREEMENT!!! He didn't *give* me anyfuckingthing. I had vacation time available and I exercised it. How magnanimous of him to *give* me something that was mine in the first place.

caregiver9000 posted 1/10/2014 20:53 PM

He didn't *give* me anyfuckingthing. I had vacation time available and I exercised it. How magnanimous of him to *give* me something that was mine in the first place.

Now you know. You need to THANK him...

tesla posted 1/10/2014 20:55 PM

I completely forgot that there is still an stb in front of that asshole's x.

Finalized D anywhere on the horizon for you?

gonnabe2016 posted 1/10/2014 22:03 PM

Finalized D anywhere on the horizon for you?

As I said, instead of focusing on wrapping this shit up.....he just continues to complicate matters.

One of the most irritating aspects of this is that my youngest (14) would not have known about ANY of this drama if stbx hadn't chosen to 'involve' him. I still haven't had a specific conversation with DS14 about the Monday night incident. What my kid knew was that dad might be late and that there was a possibility that he would be staying with me. Kid was totally non-plussed ("ok") because I didn't make a big deal out of it (and it has happened before). Stbx is very much a "kids revolve around my life" instead of a "life revolves around my kids" person....and the kids know that.

I set a boundary that caused a mantrum of epic proportions. Apparently stbx feels that he is *allowed* to ignore specific proclamations of "be here by <a certain time> or I am keeping the kids overnight" because he so graciously and magnanimously allowed me to *take* his weekend.

Pffft. My kids were off of school for something like 18 days over Christmas thanks to the winter weather. If stbx hadn't been so busy being *out of town,* perhaps he could have spent more than 48 hours of that time with them. No.Sympathy.for.the.guy.

Gr8Lady posted 1/10/2014 22:07 PM

I understand completely. . Tired of round and round justifications from hubby.

Just done, don't want to waste the rest of my life wishing for "what could be in our marriage"

I am at last standing up for myself.

Reclaiming my life

ButterflyGirl posted 1/11/2014 00:45 AM

As I said, instead of focusing on wrapping this shit up.....he just continues to complicate matters.

Let me guess, AND it's your fault that the D is taking so long? I got that one AGAIN today. It's so impossible to argue with crazy

Amazonia posted 1/11/2014 01:14 AM

Do you have a lawyer? His lawyer isn't supposed to communicate directly with you if you do.

roughroadahead posted 1/11/2014 07:32 AM

What Amazonia said. If you're not pro se, either his L really messed up, or the letter does not, in fact, come from his L. If you have one, forward it to your L immediately.

JessicaFL127 posted 1/11/2014 08:12 AM

You're STILL divorcing this a-hole?! I've seen cancers go away faster. You poor thing!

gonnabe2016 posted 1/11/2014 10:03 AM

GR8 -- reclaiming your life is a good thing

BG -- of course it's my fault, how'd you guess?

I did receive the letter through proper channels. I had spoken to my L during this incident so she was aware of the situation and when she received the letter from his L, she was able to call the guy up and talk to him about it. Basically -- by the time I became aware of the letter, my L had already handled it.....and thank goodness for that. I swear. Remember the guy who went on Oprah hawking his autobiographical book that turned out to be fiction? That's what reading that letter was like.

I always forget that I don't have to really *explain* this stuff to you guys.....I'm preaching to the choir here, so to speak. You've all BTDT with the craziness.

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