[This message edited by shiloe at 8:27 AM, January 11th (Saturday)]
Filing for divorce is better than the emotional abuse he is putting you through. Don't accept this.
With all compassion, he has left you. He has no interest, right now and possibly from this point on, in being with you. Doing MC right now is a waste of your time and money. MC can only work if two people are absolutely COMMITED to it, together. He's just checking off a box in his Cheaters Handbook Inventory so that he can claim that he "did everything possible to save the marriage but alas, it was not to be."
And you darn well know that he's not spending his nights alone.
Please do two things on Monday. 1. Call your OB/GYN and get an immediate appointment for a complete STD/HIV panel of tests. He has not only endangered your health, but that of your unborn child. You need to have those tests run ASAP. 2. Call a lawyer and file for a legal separation. You need to have spousal and child support setup, sole use of your house, and primary custody of your child. I know that you think that this might drive him away or that it's too early. Frankly, he has left you and, if you don't get this setup ASAP, he is free to ignore his obligations to you AND to spend your joint marital assets on his HOs. You need to be the responsible one here and make sure that you and your children are taken care of.
This all seems very overwhelming. We all know. But you can't "love" him back. If love were enough to bring back a WS (wayward spouse), then this site would only have about 50 members. You need to take care of yourself and your children first because frankly, he's fired you from the job of wife and has gone seeking "comfort" elsewhere. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012
my point, you can rise up from pain to make the best, when you are ready to do so.
it hurt me, but I chose to be more for my child.
Married 27 years. Together 29.
3 children 24, 21, 14
OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.