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Divorce/Separation :
On the crazy train again - vent

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 Bluebird26 (original poster member #36445) posted at 5:34 AM on Saturday, January 11th, 2014

OMG the crazy train departed again this morning sigh....

An incident occurred a few weeks ago involving our son and OW son. The ex and I verbally agreed that our children were to have no more contact with OW children that they are a bad influence etc. We agreed he could see the kids when ever he wanted too, but they were to have no contact with OW family. Since this has occurred a lot of 'truth' has come out about OW and her children basically not good and things I should have been informed long before now.

The ex is very good at following the court orders when it suits him, I have a huge file of 'evidence' if it ever goes to court of all his numerous breaches. I have been trying to avoid this due to the cost and the kids have been through enough.

Anyway it is his weekend with the children, he never turned up to pick up the children at his scheduled time. He has had no contact with me regarding any change to our agreement.

The following day sent me a text message saying he was picking the kids up at x time. Basically a text exchange occurred repeating verbal agreement and he was threatening that I was breaching court orders etc. Oldest DS doesn't want to return to ex house with OW kids there. I rang him and cop an earful of abuse from him, he turned up at my house doing the same in front of the children. The youngest DS wanted to go, so I allowed him to go. The oldest was given a guilt speech about how much he is hurting his father and his family blah blah blah. The oldest DS won't fall for that again. DS says "I am done, he's been a dick again, I don't want anything to do with him" There is a long history of issues between oldest DS and exwh.

Just when I think it's calm and ex and I can actually co-parent he pulls this crap again.

Seriously wish he would put our kids first!

Only 6.5 more years of dealing with his craziness.

Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.

posts: 1530   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6634596
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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 5:49 AM on Saturday, January 11th, 2014

Do you have a *tardiness* clause in your placement agreement?

Mine says something along the lines of....unless otherwise agreed upon, if you're 30 minutes late you forfeit your placement time. Last week my stbx showed up 2 hours past the time that we had agreed upon (which was 2 hours past his scheduled time)....and I didn't answer the door. He told me that he was on his way....I told him not to show up at the house, that he was past the agreed-upon time and that I would bring the kids to him the next morning, and he (tried) to show up anyway.

Stop having verbal discussions with this guy. Text/email only. And if he doesn't show up for his scheduled time, then *poof*, it's gone.

You aren't breaching any court order if he doesn't show up to get the kids when he's supposed to....

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6634606
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 Bluebird26 (original poster member #36445) posted at 5:58 AM on Saturday, January 11th, 2014

Stop having verbal discussions with this guy. Text/email only

Yep will be restarting this asap. For the last 4 months we have been verbal as he was starting to show he could actually co-parent. Should have known better.

Unfortunately we don't have a tardiness clause. He only has to notify me if he is going to be more then 15 minutes late. But he didn't notify me. Just demanded the children today.

My last words to him today were if you think I am breaching the court orders please take me to court then.

Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.

posts: 1530   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6634612
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