The broad strokes: STBX had an exit affair. She wanted out so we are done. I worked my ass off to get things separated. She got the house (I didn't want it), most of the stuff (I didn't want it) and paid me a modest settlement. I moved into an extended stay motel in November (four months after d day) and vowed to rest, relax and live in the moment until the new year. I still have tough moments from time to time, and I suspect I will for a while but honestly I am moving rapidly toward the indifference that I have read about here but never thought possible. I don't miss her. That is the truth.
What i am consumed with now is my future. And it scares the hell out of me. I have a wonderful opportunity to move to FL and be close to my friends who are the most wonderful, intelligent, funniest and generous people in the world. But I can't wrap my head around moving, a new job, a new place to stay, new friends, a new life. I have the opportunity to excel, to shape my life how I want to shape it but I'm so afraid of it all. I'm searching for the strength to walk away from this town and start over. I've come too far on this God forsaken journey to quit now. And I won't. One day I'll find the strength to walk away and start. I hope that day is soon.
Thanks for the support
I saw those FL pics. Good friends are nothing to sneeze at! You're going to take yourself with you wherever you go, but sometimes a new place can be good for making a new life when the rug has been yanked from underneath your feet. That's sort of how I've done it & even though it can be lonely, I know I did the right thing. It's really made me move forward & dampened my propensity to wallow.
I know how scary it is to drop everything and move far away. I moved more than 1400km's away for my new beginning. New city where I literally only knew 2 people! It was extremely scary but I am so very glad I did it.
I say take the opportunity for a clean slate and NB. Change is always scary especially huge changes like this but you can do it. Good luck!
I have a wonderful opportunity to move to FL and be close to my friends who are the most wonderful, intelligent, funniest and generous people in the world. But I can't wrap my head around moving, a new job, a new place to stay, new friends, a new life. I have the opportunity to excel, to shape my life how I want to shape it but I'm so afraid of it all.
You did not choose to unleash the catalyst of infidelity that wreaked havoc on your life; that choice was made for you; for us all.
But your first sentence quoted above says it all - You have a wonderful opportunity. The epitome of coming out of Hell stronger than ever rather than defeated. And a future that's awesome is waiting for you. You just have to let it unfold. First step's the hardest, but sunsets, you got this. 100%.
Take a deep breath and lead forward into your bright, bright future.
Divorce final 2/10/14.
Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.
but I'm so afraid of it all.
Really examine that. Not necessarily for posting here, but for pushing yourself to understand what's behind it.
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
I, on the other hand, am facing OW moving here.
If you don't have kids to tie you down, go for it! I can imagine nothing more healing than walking away from the chaos by knocking off the cr*p thrust upon us and never looking back. I wish you only the best, whatever you decide.