Anyone actually have one of these? Do they really exist? What constitutes 'sexless', never, or just not very often? Not that I believe that it is any excuse for cheating, it just seems that this is the go-to excuse, so I am wondering if it has any basis in reality.
I have posted this before, but in my case OW clearly did not believe him because she used to discretely sniff his junk to see if there was any of my, ahem, residue on there. Either that or she just loves Eau De Wang. The mind reels. I cannot get past the weirdness of an OW checking to see if her MARRIED BOYFRIEND was cheating on her with HIS WIFE. Gahhhh!
[This message edited by Bravenewgirl at 5:46 PM, January 11th (Saturday)]
(WH: poor me, my dong is not getting any love! OW: Poor you! Your wife is mean!, I will pat your wiener for you blah blah blah, etc etc.)
Oh...thank you for the laugh. I so needed that today!
As for answering your question...I think the only way you can be in a sexless marriage is if you NEVER have sex.
My WH complained to his whore that I NEVER wanted to have sex either. I explained to him that I just NEVER wanted to have sex with HIM! I mean it's hard to get turned on by a drunk man slobbering all over you every night.
He complained about our kissing even (because I never wanted to). He was so drunk that he was practically EATING MY FACE OFF! Yes...that is a turn on.
IMO It is just an easy excuse so they can have their cake and eat it to.
I don't know what my WS told the bar whore except that he was married, had a newborn son, he believed our marriage was over and didn't understand why. Make me gag.
He probably did say we weren't having sex. Who knows? To me, a sexless marriage is one where it never happens.
Of course that isn't really true. We had sex, but not a ton. Because he was a lazy lay and didn't want to work on it, and I didn't need/want it that often so 3x a month maybe.
I told him what he could do to help me want more…help more with the kids, be affectionate at times other than when u want sex, set up date nights, act romantic, etc. He said "Oh, so it is CONDITIONAL? Forget it. You should love me and want me how I am" and because he is so lazy, I guess it was easier to just go online and find someone all primed up and ready to go, no effort required.
I dunno, when someone tells you to "Shut the fuck up" constantly and then is reaching over for you 15 minutes later in bed, it kind of takes the fun out of having sex with that person. He was a selfish fucking dick and never tried to get me to want to have sex with him, just demanded it. Grrr, getting angry remembering this. I love sex, too.
she used to discretely sniff his junk to see if there was any of my, ahem, residue on there
[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 6:12 PM, January 11th (Saturday)]
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
I will pat your wiener for you
[This message edited by Lyonesse at 6:21 PM, January 11th (Saturday)]
Things got better and worse and then better again but his affair squelched our sex life. He was also selfish, expected to show up over here at 10:30 at night and do it when I had been sitting around alone all day and evening (and he had been on FaceTime with OW). So maybe ours was close to sexless? Awesome.
I can not say I was in a sexless marriage. just that I wasn't getting any, the OM was though.
i have not had sex with my wife since my WW became pregnant with our now 7 month old.
mine you DD was 3 weeks ago, so there will be no physical contact now.
SO its would probably be around 14 months with no sex, mind you she was pregnant for 9 of them.
Still i would say a sexless doesn't me NEVER it has to be atleast a few times a month.
I may not have had sex but my wife and OM were certainty.
who know how long it will be before i have sex now 2 years 3 ahhhhhhh..... im gonna stop thinking about this now.
[This message edited by neverwillhapn2me at 6:25 PM, January 11th (Saturday)]
If your searching for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.
I am sure the OW knew from just looking at me that I hated sex and was not taking care of my man in bed.
I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.
It was the skank who wasn't getting any because her boyfriend lived 2 hours away. I guess fucking a married man was protection against her boyfriend finding out.
Little did she know my husband (when depressed) doesn't shower often. Sucks to be her!
[This message edited by Flatlined at 6:35 PM, January 11th (Saturday)]
Had him first. Have him last. Just wish I could have had him ONLY.
I told him what he could do to help me want more…help more with the kids, be affectionate at times other than when u want sex, set up date nights, act romantic, etc.
This was exactly what I told my husband about a year before dday. He was lazy and I did most of the chores around the house, I worked full time and our son was about 8 months old then. We had a serious talk about us and I said the same thing quoted above. Our sex life came back to normal, he was more affection and all until he got deployed. When he came home... BOOM! I found out he was fucking a whore overseas.
Anyhow, looking back at how he was, I'm just glad I don't have to deal with his lazy, Xbox playing ass anymore. Butter bitch face can pat his wiener until it turns blue.
Butter bitch face
So yes. I was in a sexless marriage, thinking I was honoring the "in sickness and in health" clause.
He, OTOH, was not. And I may never forgive him for robbing me of so much of my sexual adulthood.
But maybe I will. Because frankly, sex with a personality disordered man who can't abide intimacy is not what it's cracked up to be, and at least now I stand a chance at having an adult relationship.
We had sex all the time, before and during and after the A.
OW and WS both told each other they were in sexless marriages, lies.
Now, the thought of having sex with him makes me ill.
His LTA was about 3 times a week.
Much more frequent now that he doesn't use me as a piece of meat.
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
And suddenly I see, what I lost ain't no loss.
-Richie Kotzen, "What I Lost"