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User Topic: Indentation on ring finger?
Mom4ever
♀ 40516
Member # 40516
Concerned  Posted: 10:37 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a ring on my left ring finger for 24 years (2 years engaged and 22 years married). I have had those rings off for almost 7 months. When will the indentation go away???

There is no discoloration. It is an actual groove around my finger. I want it gone! I took my rings off because I don't want to be reminded of him. He doesn't deserve to have his mark on me any more. But it's like now he has left a scar there on my hand as well as in my chest, gut, and mind.

Is there anything I can do to get it to go away?

Of course, he doesn't have that problem. He never wore his ring because it was dangerous..... Poor thing. He always said it could get caught on something and tear his finger off. IF ONLY! That's not all I wish would have got tore off of him!!

But I'm really tired of seeing my finger like this when I look at my hand and it remind me of him. He is still doing so many horrible things to the kids and I and I try not to think about him as much as possible.

For anyone else who had this happen, how long did it take to go away? Any suggestions on what could help?

[This message edited by Mom4ever at 10:38 PM, January 11th (Saturday)]


BW - me 43
WH - 46
M - 23 yrs
D-Day - 6/13/2013
2 DS and 1 DD
Divorcing
There are some things that "sorry" just doesn't fix... But I never even got a "sorry."

Posts: 108 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Southeast
Gemini71
♀ 40115
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I suggest getting a beautiful 'mother's ring' to wear on that finger. Then the indentation won't matter.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 2089 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
BAB61
♀ 41181
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was going to suggest a different ring also!

Go and get a manicure at a really nice salon, get the paraffin dip, it may help the skin hydrate and plump up .. get them every couple of weeks until it's gone!! lol You could pawn the rings to pay for the mani's!!! lolol


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:55 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey, Mom4ever. I wore my rings for about the same amount of time - 25 years total. I was bothered by the indentation as well. ((((hugs))))

I remember that it was undetectable about a year after I took the rings off. It may have been gone sooner than that, but I noted it at a year.

I don't know if it helped, but I made a point of putting lotion on my hands a couple of times a day, and would massage it into the indentation trying to rub it away.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26476 | Registered: Aug 2011
ChoosingHope
♀ 33606
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 10:58 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wore mine for 18 years. The indentation wore off before one year was over.

The longer the marriage, the longer the marks remain. But eventually they fade, just like the memories.


Posts: 1759 | Registered: Oct 2011
lifestoshort
♀ 18442
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would suspect that would take a long time to not indent. I would get a new ring. something for you that wont makeyou think of him!

I immediately replaced my ring with a cute little band. I never realized the change then. yay


6/07 EX had MANY affairs.
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09

Posts: 713 | Registered: Mar 2008
PurpleRose
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wore my ring for over 20 years also... It felt like it was taking forever for that indentation to go away. But it eventually did.

Hang in there..


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3631 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
ImEnoughForMe
♀ 41869
Member # 41869
Default  Posted: 6:13 AM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wore my ring for 22 years and I took it off our last year being legally married. It's been over a year and the indentation is gone.

Another thing where it takes "time". 😜


Do the best you can do until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. - Maya Angelou

Posts: 74 | Registered: Jan 2014
Mom4ever
♀ 40516
Member # 40516
Default  Posted: 7:15 AM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all for the input. I am definitely going to try them. I am going to start looking at Mother's Rings too. I definitely would like one of those.

Our oldest child was born in April and the birthstone is a diamond. If I end up having a ring made, would it be wrong to use the stone from my engagement ring?

What have you all done with your wedding rings?


BW - me 43
WH - 46
M - 23 yrs
D-Day - 6/13/2013
2 DS and 1 DD
Divorcing
There are some things that "sorry" just doesn't fix... But I never even got a "sorry."

Posts: 108 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Southeast
Gemini71
♀ 40115
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My rings are in a drawer somewhere. I haven't decided their final fate yet. I think using the diamond from your engagement ring for the April Birthstone is a fantastic idea!


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 2089 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
solus sto
♀ 30989
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had 23 or so years of wearing a ring, only taking the plain gold band off once (for a surgery).

The indentation was gone inside of a year.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 9142 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
20Hopeful16
♀ 40487
Member # 40487
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have had the same question, so I appreciate all the responses. Of course, having the indentation for another 7 months or so doesn't thrill me...


Me: BS (39)
Three Beautiful Children 12,9,5
DD: 8/24/13
Heading for divorce
Moving on with life

Posts: 107 | Registered: Aug 2013
ItHappened2Me2
♀ 32503
Member # 32503
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not divorced yet -- but I took my rings off last year after wearing it for about 25 years. Indent is gone! I did use moisturizer frequently - don't know if that helped or not.

But I plan on wearing a "mother's ring" in it's place (I have the ring -- but need to get it sized for the left hand). My kids share a birthday, so they have the same birthstone. So I have an amethyst ring with two small diamonds on each side.

Getting the ring sized for my left hand is one of the things I want to do when the divorce is final -- just something I want to do at that time.

As far as what I do with my rings -- don't know yet. May have it melted down and redesigned to wear on my right hand. Or sell it!


BS - me (52); WS - him (52)
DD 15yo, DS 11 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013 - he started up again with the

Posts: 241 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Texas
changed forever
♀ 6995
Member # 6995
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not divorced yet here either, but I haven't worn my rings for three or four years. The first time I noticed the indentation was gone was a little over a year after I took the rings off.

FWIW, I didn't use any sort of creams or anything on it. It just gradually faded away.


Mad hatters.
Him: 51
Me: 50
Married 23 years.

My DDay No. 1: April 2, '04
DDay No. 2: June 23, '04
DDay No. 3: July '04

We don't live together, but we haven't actually divorced yet.


Posts: 541 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: Far from home
Topic Posts: 14

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