SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

I have successfully in my NB created am extremely busy life.

The thing is I need to get stronger from within. This year I tried goals and it has been just a few weeks and I have let myself down.

I think everyone does that with resolutions but I can't afford to.

What is a good way to force a plan? And how do you know busy is a healthy busy or keeping busy to not face the work of reality?

Thanks to all of you.

In my case, I continue to see my IC. She's pretty good about holding me to goals that will help me move forward and calling "BS" on me trying to talk myself out of anything or trying to let things slide that I still need to work on.

Take it in small pieces. Set achievable tasks every day that drives twards the completion of your goal. Set time limits and objectives for each one.

(Tell GAhurts to follow his own advice )

be SMART about the goals you set for yourself -

S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Attainable
R - Realistic/Relevant
T - Time-bound

Most of us are way too vague about our goals. Lose weight is a common New Year's resolution, but that's really broad. Lose 5 lbs in 2 months is better. Get out of debt = not specific enough. Pay off XYZ credit card by the end of the year by paying $25 extra each month = specific.

Is there a way to measure your progress?

Is this something that you really can achieve, or do you need to break the goal down into smaller steps?

Is this goal something you really need to do right now? If you have other, more important needs to take care of, it's going to be a lot easier to ignore another goal that doesn't have the same sense of urgency.

Have you set a deadline for completing the goal?

there's a lot more information about this if you google.

The thing is I need to get stronger from within.

Have you broken this down as to what that looks like? IE What does "stronger within" look like to you? What tangible thing(s) can you do to get there?

Maybe make a list of things that would make you feel it and set a timeline to go along? Even if it is something really-really small so when you accomplished it you could literally cross it off a list and see the steps you are making? Maybe it is just reading one page a day of some book you think will help you? Maybe it is reciting some mantra to strengthen your core, etc?

That is the hard part with internal goals - it is hard to see them even though it is happening (thus you get discouraged easier). However, if you can break it out into daily or weekly tidbits, you can see the progress?

Great ideas! Thank you!

I am attending a goals workshop and I think it is perfect timing!

I most definitely could use the help