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Divorce is exhausting

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sleepless34 posted 1/12/2014 15:46 PM

I am so TIRED. My brain and my body is simply tired dealing with all this drama.

I ignored it all for December and had a pretty good holiday, much better than I had anticipated. I thought it would be brutal without him, and the kids would be upset, but we did just fine. We went on cruise, had a blast, now it back to business. And it is not pleasant!

I have to find a job. I have to figure out these money problems. I have to take care of this huge house myself. I have to get a plan for moving forward. I have to find a way to accept that this FUCKTARD is going to be in my life for at least the next 10 years. I am going to have to find a way to deal with him without wanting to Lorena Bobbit him every time I see him. I am currently resenting this fact so much right now that I had a dream I literally was trying to beat some sense into him physically last night.

I had to see him 3x this week. Concilliation/Mediation Court appointment (just part of D process) and then Divorce Mediator/Therapist re parenting plan for January, then at DD's basketball game yesterday. Thank goodness this week is over and won't have to see his stupid ass for a long long while.

I went out to dinner last night, and was so exhausted I had to cut it short to get home and get to bed. I slept almost 11 hours.

The therapist says you get to point where you can deal with this person in a business like fashion to co-parent the kids. That you don't have to like them, but you can interact with no emotion and work together for best interest of the kids. Really? Seems impossible at this point. Is anyone successful at this?? advice please??

badmedicine posted 1/12/2014 17:15 PM

I know what you mean. I don't even have kids and I have a job (although it's getting to be time to find a new one) and just the stress of thinking about it and dealing with the emotional roller coaster is EXHAUSTING. Sometimes I get home from work and I just collapse onto the sofa. I am a runner and I get a huge rush from exercise but there have been days I can't even put my shoes on. If I keep moving it's fine but once I stop....inertia takes over.

Stress is bad for us! I feel like the acute stress right after DDay where I could barely eat, sleep, or conjugate a verb correctly has passed. Now I'm left with chronic, low-level stress that never goes away. It is slowly wearing me down. I'm so sorry for the co-parenting issues. It sounds just terrible and it's a constant reminder of what he did. I wish I had advice for you on what your IC said. (hugs)

BAB61 posted 1/12/2014 23:22 PM

I hear ya, my 2 dd's went on a Youth Rally this weekend. A college friend came in for Fri/Sat night. I got up Sat to make breakfast, ended up taking care of dd's elderly dog (she has problems holding her bowels). Had to feed the dog and the cats (3 of them that want food!! Think Simon's Cat!! lol). On top of all this, the STBX was supposed to pick up some of his shit today. So I invited 2 friends to come knit/crochet and made lasagna for dinner. I have a pile of stuff on the dining room table. He got here and then informed me that he wasn't able to take his stuff ... wtf? So yeah .. I'm beat. My girls were going to spend the night at a friend's and I asked them to come home and give me a break ...

peridot posted 1/12/2014 23:38 PM

This is one of the reasons it's best to stick to emails or texts.

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