I am so TIRED. My brain and my body is simply tired dealing with all this drama.
I ignored it all for December and had a pretty good holiday, much better than I had anticipated. I thought it would be brutal without him, and the kids would be upset, but we did just fine. We went on cruise, had a blast, now it back to business. And it is not pleasant!
I have to find a job. I have to figure out these money problems. I have to take care of this huge house myself. I have to get a plan for moving forward. I have to find a way to accept that this FUCKTARD is going to be in my life for at least the next 10 years. I am going to have to find a way to deal with him without wanting to Lorena Bobbit him every time I see him. I am currently resenting this fact so much right now that I had a dream I literally was trying to beat some sense into him physically last night.
I had to see him 3x this week. Concilliation/Mediation Court appointment (just part of D process) and then Divorce Mediator/Therapist re parenting plan for January, then at DD's basketball game yesterday. Thank goodness this week is over and won't have to see his stupid ass for a long long while.
I went out to dinner last night, and was so exhausted I had to cut it short to get home and get to bed. I slept almost 11 hours.
The therapist says you get to point where you can deal with this person in a business like fashion to co-parent the kids. That you don't have to like them, but you can interact with no emotion and work together for best interest of the kids. Really? Seems impossible at this point. Is anyone successful at this?? advice please??