Welcome to the club that nobody wanted to join. But fortunately, we have a lot of great people who can help guide you through this.
Right now, you're in shock. Trust me, you will feel plenty once the shock wears off. I believe a spouse cheating is one of the most painful things you can go through. It rocks your very foundation and makes you question your own judgement. You will basically go through all the stages of grieving. It is necessary, there is a process that you go through to help you heal.
So you are dealing with two betrayals, a "best" friend and your "husband" who we will refer to from this point forward WH (Wayward Husband). Under Guidelines or the Healing Garden, there is a list of abbreviations that will help navigate your way through this site.
What you need to do is surround yourself with a support group. Always remember that their side will be skewed in your favor. Don't make any rash decisions until you've had a chance to calm down and think about this rationally. (I know easier said than done.) Right now, with emotions heightened, it is the worst time to make decisions. If you must have him in another room, or out of the house for awhile while you think is perfectly acceptable. Remember, at anytime during this process, you feel yourself sliding into a dark hole, go to the doctor and tell them so they can give you something to help get through this pain. Be sure to drink water and try to eat as much as you can at this point.
If you haven't started journaling, I suggest you start doing that now. Don't worry about what you're going to write, just let it flow (be sure to date each entry) and as you go through this process, you will see how far you have become. I wish I could tell you that it is easy, but I would be lying to you. I'm 5-1/2 months in and I broke down again today and having a rough time. Time makes it easier to bear, just be sure to find a good support network. Remember, we are all here and somebody can always help you.
BS 55 -- Me!
LTA EA/PA 1-1/2 years.
D-Day 8-12, 2nd D-Day 9-13, 3rd D-Day 10-13 (stopped counting tt still coming in)
Married 17 yrs, together 20.
MC & IC has been a JOKE.
Status: We're going to try IC one more time.