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sent text to AP's Bpartner

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nomoredreams posted 1/13/2014 06:32 AM

My WH has been involved with "just a friend" for I do not know how long. I found the proof 12/15 and said end it with no more contact and I won't say anything to her long term partner.

They have been together 6+ years. He is disabled. He financially supports her and is the father figure to her 2 kids--one of whom is my son's best friend. As far as I can tell there has been no contact, but I have been dx'd with herpes one of the genitalia, initial exposure. Husband swears she is his only other woman (WOW. I feel better!) She swears she has never so much as had a cold sore or any type of STD...except HPV, but that doesn't count because it only gives you cervical cancer. No. WH did not go to MENSA looking for his AP. So, someone is lying...again. Therefore, the deal ended.

It took days of digging because I just do not do this. But, I found his name and home phone. Then I found his cell. I sent him a short text. This is who I am, sorry to hurt you or those two kids but our partners were involved in a relationship. Your partner will deny it. She already tried to with me until she found out I had copies of her texts to my husband on my phone. I can send them to you if you need to see them. The point of this is that a complete STD panel shows I am positive for X when I was not on this date. You need to get tested, too.

That is it. Well, I apologized again because I know I just sent a fricking wrecking ball through his heart and his life. Me. Granted, I did not lie, cheat or betray my vows. I did not do anything but love and trust my husband, but I just destroyed that man's life...and more than likely the lives of two more innocent children.

So, I sat and cried. Did that effing whore ever cry for what she did to me or my family or did she just sit on MY husband's lap and take everything she could?

How can you hate someone you love so much?

silentscream13 posted 1/13/2014 06:57 AM

I am so sorry for your pain and that you find yourself here. I, too, cried when I informed OW's BSO what had happened. I felt like I was an evil b$%*h because of what they did. He did not blame me for their actions. Hopefully this gentleman will be just as understanding to you. I wish I could be more helpful. I just wanted you to know that I am sending hugs your way.

sportsfan posted 1/13/2014 07:09 AM

nomoredreams - please know that YOU didnít destroy that manís life rather his W did. You had info that he needed and bless you for having the courage to give it to him. Continue taking the high road in this and hang in there.

[This message edited by sportsfan at 7:09 AM, January 13th (Monday)]

nomoredreams posted 1/13/2014 07:12 AM

I do not even know if he got the text. Maybe it was an old number. Maybe she saw it first and deleted it. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Should I text requesting that he tell me he got the info and/or to get lost? I do not know what to do. That seems to be my new normal. nmd

nomoredreams posted 1/13/2014 11:24 AM

Well Crap. Now I have myself wondering...did he get the text?

Should I try to find out or just leave it alone?

Opinions, please.

Twitchy posted 1/13/2014 12:09 PM

Try calling. If she answers hang up and try again later. It's hard, but worth the effort.

The registered letter is hit and miss. Post office can be lazy. You can asked for signed receipt. They're more careful with those. Some couriers have a Chain of Signature, COS, for law enforcement exhibits but anyone can use it. Just costs a little more.

[This message edited by Twitchy at 12:09 PM, January 13th (Monday)]

overandone posted 1/13/2014 12:12 PM

I would phone, just to make sure message got to him not her.

Lola88 posted 1/13/2014 12:23 PM

I sent a letter by registered mail so it had to be signed for and my final sentence asked that he call me to confirm he'd received it.

He did, but said I was trying to ruin his life. I'm not upset by this, I felt he needed to know - what he does with the information is up to him.

million tears posted 1/13/2014 12:43 PM

There is a way to dial a number and have it go straight to VM without ringing. You could see what the VM said. Check in Investigative Tips if you can.

ETA: In my case I emailed the BH and the OW deleted it before he saw it. Then I texted him and she convinced him I was crazy. I finally had to call him.

[This message edited by million tears at 12:46 PM, January 13th (Monday)]

nomoredreams posted 1/13/2014 13:51 PM

Thank you all for the opinions. Normally, I'd ask my husband what he thought but things stopped being normal a long time ago.

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