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Divorce/Separation :
RealityCheck

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 ImEnoughForMe (original poster member #41869) posted at 1:26 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2014

On this roller coaster of separation leading to divorce when I'm down I remind myself of what I have accomplished.

It's only been two months since the H has left "to be happy" and throwing the bomb and blowing up our family, but in two months I can see my growth and strength returning. This has been with a lot of help from here.

So when you are down list out the changes in your life. I believe even the littlest of changes will grow into bigger ones.

Do the best you can do until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. - Maya Angelou

posts: 77   ·   registered: Jan. 1st, 2014
id 6637222
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Pass ( member #38122) posted at 2:51 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2014

That's great. His happy is shallow, and he will always be discontented. He will either keep moving around from relationship to relationship, or he will just continue to be much more unhappy with this new person than he ever claimed to be with you.

You are starting on the hard road to recovering from his horseshit. As a result, you will find happiness/contentment some day.

Keep going with those little changes. You're getting there!

Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.

posts: 3785   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6637373
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 ImEnoughForMe (original poster member #41869) posted at 3:25 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2014

Thank you - very much. It is a very hard road.

I know what will happen to him down the road. Just not my problem anymore.

Do the best you can do until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. - Maya Angelou

posts: 77   ·   registered: Jan. 1st, 2014
id 6637427
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Dawn58 ( member #37656) posted at 4:01 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2014

For being just a few months out, you are doing well. I was still in the fog and in such deep pain, I didn't think I'd ever get through it. It took me about 10 months before I started to feel like I was coming out of it. I can't say that I felt like myself, because I am not the same person I was before. And that is sad.

I remember the first time I laughed, really had a good belly laugh. I started to cry because I didn't think I'd ever smile again, let alone laugh.

I am so grateful for the healing I have had over the past 13 months. I am so grateful to friends and family for being there for me. I am so grateful that there is an inner core of strength within that carried me through each painful moment.

I still have my moments and I will never understand why he chose to cheat on me, outside of the fact that it has to do with him. I will never understand why he threw away the love and life we had together.

I have honesty and integrity in my house now. I have healing and peace in my house now. I have respect in my house now. And I have the freedom to pursue my happiness. That is my reality now.

I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

posts: 491   ·   registered: Nov. 30th, 2012   ·   location: Southern California
id 6637494
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