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General :
Starting to lose my anger

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wink1

 Smashedat58 (original poster member #41705) posted at 12:43 AM on Tuesday, January 14th, 2014

After much reading and soul searching, I am starting to understand why I have been so angry at my WS. I am feeling pain in response to his betrayal. Anger is a responsive feeling to my pain. I am in pain because of his betrayal. His betrayal has caused the loss of my future dream. And the future is only a dream. It's not written down anywhere, and it exists as a hope. His future hope is not the same as mine. He wants to make his life with someone else, and I'm not in that picture. I have grieved the loss of something that I never owned. If I don't try to hang on to my dream future, then I've lost nothing. By letting go of that, I'm willing to accept my true future. I have let go of my grief, and I feel so much relieved. I know that I can build a wonderful future just for myself. After all, I helped build our wonderful past, and our fabulous children.

posts: 178   ·   registered: Dec. 18th, 2013   ·   location: Upstate New York
id 6638322
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 1:10 AM on Tuesday, January 14th, 2014

Good for you! Reclaim YOUR future, your dreams. (((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6638361
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 1:15 AM on Tuesday, January 14th, 2014

There is so much power to be gained in letting go of what we don't control. Well done, Smashed!

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6638366
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HighSticked ( member #41557) posted at 3:59 AM on Tuesday, January 14th, 2014

Kudos to that. I'm bookmarking this thread. I think I may be needing it for the next few years.

posts: 58   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Western USA
id 6638578
smile1

 Smashedat58 (original poster member #41705) posted at 1:35 PM on Tuesday, January 14th, 2014

I keep thinking of that song "I can see clearly, now" sung by Johnny Nash. Since I decided to let go of my anger, after understanding why I was feeling it, and how it was making me ill. I slept over 8 hours last night. I'm wishing you all a good night's sleep, too. It can do wonders.

posts: 178   ·   registered: Dec. 18th, 2013   ·   location: Upstate New York
id 6638872
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Kitty70 ( member #41939) posted at 11:42 AM on Wednesday, January 15th, 2014

This is great. I can't wait to get there myself. Had a dream this a.m. that woke me up and I was so angry.

Me: BGF, 43
Him: WBF, 35
Together 9 years, moved in 8/15/2013

posts: 98   ·   registered: Jan. 6th, 2014
id 6640400
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