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Newest Member: 4ever2gether (45763)

User Topic: Ex-BF has a girlfriend
hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Helpless  Posted: 7:18 PM, January 13th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EXBF and I broke up on very good terms. I moved 1,500 miles and he moved to another city as well. Neither of us wanted a long-term relationship with no end in site. We were both focused on our careers and some big changes. I wish him the best and want him to be happy.

HOwever, today I learned that he has a GF. I'm not 100% positive, I didn't confirm. Just came across a picture today that made me feel that's what's going on. I don't need to confirm, it's not my business and let's face it, the answers are just painful. He really is a wonderful man and deserves to have a wonderful relationship. I want him to be happy, I just don't want to hear about it. Also, I want to be prettier than her.

Just feeling bummed. Even though it's been seven months (totally appropriate for him to date), just sucks. Probably more so because my dating life is just... sad.

[This message edited by hurtbs at 7:54 PM, January 13th (Monday)]


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, January 13th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hurtbs)))


Posts: 36498 | Registered: Mar 2011
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, January 13th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((hurtbs)))) You are the bomb, lady. And don't you ever forget it.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26218 | Registered: Aug 2011
Pentup
♀ 20563
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, January 13th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Even if you are not a country fan, play Lee Ann Womacks, "I'll think of a Reason later"
((Hurtbs))
Edited to correct typo that made it the wrong song!

[This message edited by Pentup at 12:44 PM, January 14th (Tuesday)]


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6682 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Exit Wounds
♀ 32811
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hurtbs))) I'm sorry you are hurting...hugs and more hugs.

Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hurtbs)))

It's not a comment on you. You're just in re-build mode. Courage.


"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3160 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Beemer
♀ 38499
Member # 38499
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also, I want to be prettier than her

I'm sorry - but that made me laugh

Hugs to you ((hurtbs))


BW - Me (33)
FWH - Him (34)
Married - 8years
D-Day - 06/06/12
Status - Trying...things are good :)

Posts: 77 | Registered: Feb 2013
BrokenDaisy
♀ 37063
Member # 37063
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Hurtbs)))


Me BxW, him SA NPD WxH
1 wonderful toddler - sole legal custody to me and supervised visitation to xwh.
DDay 01/2012
10/2013 Finally Divorced!!

Posts: 266 | Registered: Oct 2012
hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cayc - I wish I were just in rebuilding more. I've been actively trying to date for months - socializing with friends, going to events, telling people I'm open to being set up, online dating...

All I'm meeting are creepers, the elderly, and lesbians. At this point, I'm just going to switch teams. :/

ETA: I just deleted Instagram from my phone. I obsessing about checking it again. I've already deleted him from social media accounts, this was the last connection

[This message edited by hurtbs at 11:26 AM, January 14th (Tuesday)]


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it. My first post-D relationship ended because of distance too, and a few years out, I can almost guarantee you that I will always love him. I don't think I would even want the relationship back after this time, but I can't stand the thought of him being with someone else, even though I do so much hope he his life is filled with joy and that he does find love. I wouldn't be able to go back, but I can't stop missing him either. I wish I could. It seems to come and go in waves, sometimes much harder than others.

(((Hurtbs)))


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13880 | Registered: Jul 2011
hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Amazonia, that's how I feel. The relationship unnaturally ended - but for the right reasons. I'm really surprised how depressed I have been all day. I'm glad I took the Instagram App off my phone, I found myself unconsciously reaching for it... I just need to go full on NC for a while with him.

It's just this final nail... the relationship is really over and he has moved on. And in spite of many attempts, I guess I feel like I'm just running in place. He's on a new relationship and I haven't even kissed a guy. I had a shorter dry spell after my divorce!


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
Kitty70
♀ 41939
Member # 41939
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is always the biggest fear for me. The thought of my man with someone else. It really hurts. I'm sorry. Try not to 'find' out if you can.


Me: BGF, 43
Him: WBF, 35
Together 9 years, moved in 8/15/2013

Posts: 98 | Registered: Jan 2014
LearningToRun
♀ 31353
Member # 31353
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Comparison is the Thief of Joy"

You are all in speculation over a picture with no real proof. I can guarantee you the fantasy picture you have of their R painted in your head isn't the reality. (your imagination is probably much better!)

This is so normal. I don't even think if you had someone it would feel any different.

You are mourning at your own pace. When you are healthy, someone healthy will come along. You wouldn't want broken just because it would make your instagram look good, right?

Focus on you and let him go so you can heal. You are doing the right things for the right reasons, trust in that.


Posts: 317 | Registered: Feb 2011
hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are mourning at your own pace. When you are healthy, someone healthy will come along. You wouldn't want broken just because it would make your instagram look good, right?

Learning, this is not my exWH. Ex-BF and I had a great relationship that was very healthy, as is he. I don't know if he has a girlfriend (but I'm almost positive he does). I don't know what their relationship is like at all. I also know that it doesn't matter. Ex-BF isn't broken, our relationship wasn't broken, and I'm not broken.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
traicionada
♀ 10310
Member # 10310
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hurtbs)))

Of course, you are not broken darling. You have done a lot of work to be healthy and breaking up with your XBF so you could pursue your dreams is living proof of it. Broken people over compromised and then regret it; you didn't.


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3353 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Broken people over compromised and then regret it;

Thanks Traic, this really resonates. I took a great job opportunity instead of passing to see if/how things would work out with exBF. You're right, over-compromising for a relationship is never good. No matter how I'm feeling now, ultimately I know that I made the right decision.

With feelings, I know I just have to go through them. Going through them just sucks.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
Topic Posts: 16

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