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Well, I did it.... I broke up with him.

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megs56 posted 1/14/2014 00:02 AM

The title pretty much sums it up. This will be a pretty short post as I am pretty emotionally drained.

I broke up with my WBF tonight. It took me awhile to get to this decision, as my profile and posts show, but I needed to get to a certain place in my heart I guess. And I finally got there. I decided that I needed to love me, and breaking up was the only way I could do that. And I needed to heal and I wasn't healing with him.

Thank you everyone for the kind words, hugs, support, harshness when needed, etc. I appreciate every response that has ever been given to me.

I especially appreciate the advice that people gave me saying that's what they'd tell their daughter. That really hit home.

I know I'll be ok. I am strong. I already made it through everything that happened, I know I can make it through this.

Nature_Girl posted 1/14/2014 00:14 AM

I'm really sorry you have to go through this pain, but Honey you did the right thing. ((((HUGS)))

TheAgonyOfIt posted 1/14/2014 00:22 AM

Hi megs

Congratulations!

It takes of courage to do that

And huge emotional energy as you noted.

Hope you start to feel better soon without the craziness you were living with him.

Of course it's sad too. Wishing you well!!!

lonelymommyof2 posted 1/14/2014 00:25 AM

I admire you, I really wish I was strong enough to do what I know deep down what I need to, and let him go for good. My heart is still way too in it :( good job on moving forward, lots of positivity sent your way

Ostrich80 posted 1/14/2014 00:41 AM

I admire your courage and strength, Megs. I wish I had more.of it myself.

nowiknow23 posted 1/14/2014 09:36 AM

((((Megs)))) It sounds like you have found peace with your decision. Better days ahead, honey. Focus on you and your healing.

Kitty70 posted 1/14/2014 09:51 AM

Hey Megs. I'm so sorry. I did it too last night. Broke up. I have done it in the past but it never stuck. I've been building up to it but last night there was more evidence discovered, and that just pushed me over the edge to do it.

I read your story and mine is in some ways similar. My XWBF (wow I have to write x now) is a combat vet and younger than me. Boy he had me fooled. He never deployed while we were together but the extent of his cheating and other indiscretions is incredible.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Let's be survival buddies.

karmahappens posted 1/14/2014 09:54 AM

(((megs)))

Take a day at a time.

Eventually you will be able to look back on this as a point in your life that gave you strength.

Go make a kick-ass life for yourself.

I am proud of you for doing what is in your heart.

SisterMilkshake posted 1/14/2014 09:56 AM

(((megs)))

cl131716 posted 1/14/2014 10:04 AM

I know that takes a lot of courage. Like others, I admire your strength and wish I had some of my own. (((megs56)))

nowiknow23 posted 1/14/2014 10:32 AM

slight t/j -

((((kitty70))))

Kitty70 posted 1/14/2014 11:01 AM

Something else that helped me in the last couple of days was to think: a) detach from the love part: you can love someone and not have to be with them, b) after removing the love part, what's good/bad about the relationship? If the bad outweighs the good, then it might be pretty insightful.

I struggled with this for weeks/months/probably years really. This was the man I thought I would marry and spend my life with. We got along so well, rarely fought, incredible chemistry. He had all the qualities I wanted in a man. And it's all gone.

But I tell myself too that I deserve to be treated better than what he gave me. Being loyal, loving, attentive (without overbearing) and always there for him wasn't enough. It was his choice, as it is in your situation. I know it's tough...so so sorry.

megs56 posted 1/14/2014 15:21 PM

Thank you for all of your responses. They helped me feel better and I appreciate all of the hugs. :)

lonelymommyof2 and Ostrich80, I am sure both of you have more strength that you think. It took me a long time to get to this place, you both will get to a better place eventually. Hugs to both of you.

(((Kitty70))) I agree that we should be survival buddies. I am so sorry that you are going through this as well. But you sound strong and I know we can both get through this.

Thank you for your kind words, advice, and support.

This was the man I thought I would marry and spend my life with. We got along so well, rarely fought, incredible chemistry. He had all the qualities I wanted in a man. And it's all gone.

Wow!! I could of wrote that!

But like you said, we deserve to be treated better. Feel free to private message me anytime if you want to talk.

I'm sorry you are hurting and dealing with this. I'm sending you hugs and strength.

Getting to Happy posted 1/14/2014 16:09 PM

Your a smart young woman. There is a world of abundance and love is out there waiting for you!

Kudos on loving you and putting your self respect first.

We know it hurts like hell but you will survive and thrive!

Sending you strength and clarity.

(((((megs56)))))

Skan posted 1/14/2014 16:30 PM

Megs, you and Kitty are both wonderful women with a lot to offer some lucky honorable man. (((hugs)))

wanttogoforward posted 1/14/2014 16:36 PM

When you are done you just simply know it in your heart.... hugs to you.... it's difficult to come to the conclusion and then have the courage to move forward alone. We are often scared to go on alone. And yet, it's probably better than being with someone who disrespects you this much.

Enjoy some time with your girlfriends... reconnect with family... do some of the things you had been wanting to do but had neglected due to your relationship. Be responsible for just YOU for awhile and enjoy that freedom.

Kitty70 posted 1/14/2014 17:28 PM

Thanks Skan. Megs, you made the right decision. I hope you are hanging in there tonite. I decided I'm going to eat some soup then head to the mall for some retail therapy. I can't just sit in this house being sad.

I hope you have a good friend to cheer you up. One of my best friends lives around the corner. Best decision to go over there last night. She was my cheerleader in reminding me that I'm a smart, caring, beautiful woman who deserves better, and that he was such an asshat for doing what he did. Really, just sick.

As she said, he took my time, my heart, and money, but don't let him take your hope. That resonated with me.

megs56 posted 1/16/2014 14:15 PM

Thank you for your responses. The hugs and kind words really do help.

A bit of good news too - I got a promotion on Tuesday that I very much deserved. YAY! Tomorrow is my birthday - the big 30! I am going to spend most of the weekend with my family and some friends, and then next weekend I am going away for a 3-day weekend with 12 girl friends to celebrate. We will be doing a lot of shopping, wine tasting, and having fun. I am glad that I will be around a lot of people these first few weekends, I think that will help a lot.

Yesterday was probably the hardest day so far. I miss him, but I know I made the right decision. I am still doing pretty well considering. I am really sad, but also a lot happier than I have been in a long time (not sure if that makes sense). I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I am so happy that I am not stuck in limbo anymore! I know I will be great. I think 30 will be a great year for me.

Kitty - I hope retail therapy helped a bit. I know that I am definitely going to do some this weekend. One of my best friends recently got a job close to where I live so she has been staying in my guest room for a bit while she finds a place to live, her being there has helped me SO much!

I am glad you have a best friend so close and I love what she told you. I hope you are holding up well. I've been thinking about you. (((kitty)))

NoAnswers37 posted 1/21/2014 08:11 AM

So proud of you Megs, what an inspiration

Ostrich80 posted 1/21/2014 09:07 AM

Something else that helped me in the last couple of days was to think: a) detach from the love part: you can love someone and not have to be with them, b) after removing the love part, what's good/bad about the relationship? If the bad outweighs the good, then it might be pretty insightful.

Omg this is brilliant ^^^^^
This really screams to me...this is what I need to do.
Thank you!!!

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