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Not sure if I'm afraid to live without him or really do want him

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inthedark14 posted 1/14/2014 18:36 PM

I kno I love WH with ALL my heart and bfor Xmas Eve i REALY culdnt imagine him doin this to me in a million years , I am not sure if I'm still here bcuz I'm afraid of being on my own and sharing my kids part time with someone and living alone etc 1 second I forget all this crap and I just love him but then I look at him and he's all friggin normal as nothing's happened and I think "god u make me sick how do U even live with yourself how the hell did were u able to come home to me and just act like nothing happened act like u were all good" I fn hate him so much most of the time I kno I'm very new to this still but I can't imagine it will get "better" , I have loved him for 15 years almost half my life and I thought we were 1 of those couples who fought the odds. Married young and STILL married this day in age, boy was I ever wrong

Thriving posted 1/14/2014 20:05 PM

(((itd14))) Of course you're not sure. It's only been 3 weeks since your D-day.

Everything you're feeling right now is completely normal. One minute you're in love and the next you're ready to hire a lawyer. BTDT.

You don't need to make any decisions right now. In fact, it would probably be better to just sit with your feelings for a while. You still have the really angry phase to go through. Most will tell you to wait 6-12 months before you make any decisions.

somanyyears posted 1/14/2014 20:13 PM


..if i may paraphrase.. betrayal totally sucks!!

..just to let you know you've been heard and your qhestion is asked frequently around here.

..my kids were 11 and 3 when i found out.. i couldn't dream of being a divorced, single father.. stayed for the kids..

..you're so new at this crap that's been dumped in your life... lean on friends and family.. take your time as you process the new reality.

..it's OK to vent here and let the anger flow..

you will make it through..

smy

cl131716 posted 1/14/2014 20:18 PM

(((Inthedark))) I'm nearly 6 months out and I'm still not sure. You are grieving a loss. Well many losses actually. Be gentle with yourself. Some say to wait a year to make a decision.

neverwillhapn2me posted 1/14/2014 21:12 PM

I kno I love WH with ALL my heart and bfor Xmas Eve i REALY culdnt imagine him doin this to me in a million years , I am not sure if I'm still here bcuz I'm afraid of being on my own and sharing my kids part time with someone and living alone etc 1 second I forget all this crap and I just love him but then I look at him and he's all friggin normal as nothing's happened and I think "god u make me sick how do U even live with yourself how the hell did were u able to come home to me and just act like nothing happened act like u were all good" I fn hate him so much most of the time I kno I'm very new to this still but I can't imagine it will get "better" , I have loved him for 15 years almost half my life and I thought we were 1 of those couples who fought the odds. Married young and STILL married this day in age, boy was I ever wrong


Other than the living alone part, 100% exactly how I feel and we both have similar DD. So as other said it must be normal.

However I do not think I will R, but that is another story for another thread.

whereismylove posted 1/15/2014 02:53 AM

its like i was writing this post. i cant figure why the hell im not kicking his ass to the curb ..everything you said i feel and wonder so if you gain some insight let me know!

Kitty70 posted 1/15/2014 05:37 AM

Maybe keep a journal. I started writing in one years ago. Helped me see what had been going on in my life. My relationship was 9 years and I was unhappy for most of it because of his emotional issues, lack of availability to me, and other things. He was a wonderful companion to me, just an asshat behind my back. I regret waiting so long, but that's just me.

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