I gave my WH a list of 4 "deal breakers". If any one of these were to occur, I would file for D.
1. No lies of any sort. No secrets of any kind
2. No sexual contact with another woman other than myself; no emotional relationship with another woman either
3. No porn (he had a ONS with a hooker)
4. Do not ever put your mother's feelings/needs over my own (he is a mother-enmenshed man)
Dday was 7 months ago. I found him in one lie by omission. When I found out he had slept with a prostitute, I slapped him across the face. It was a backhanded slap, and my knuckles got him good on the nose, which bled. He went to the doctors about this and never told me. His excuse was because he thought I would think he would use it against me if we were to D (which I did think actually)...not my finest moment I will admit
Then a month ago, I asked him a question about a scenario to which he admitted happened the week after dday. It was something uncomfortable for him to talk about regarding his past and some sexual activity that he and another boy engaged in when he was 6 years old. He admitted that this act had occurred near dday, but when I asked him another question about it, he actually looked me in the eye and completely denied that anything had happened and that he didn't know what I was talking about.
I called him on this...and said, "well either you were lying that it happened the first time you told me, or you are lying now and it DID happen...which one is it??"...he again admitted that it did happen.
I questioned him about this, as there are questions of whether or not he is a sex addict, and sex addicts usually have childhood sexual abuse, or some sort of severe abuse be it physical or verbal...I guess I was pathologizing him, he admitted he was uncomfortable talking about it, and that is why he lied.
BUT, lying is a dealbreaker to me. I told him I would divorce him over any of the above 4 items.
Now he is minimizing it, saying he cannot believe I would file over something like this.
I am going crazy here....I cannot believe this is my life :(