No stop sign, so...
I'm a BS, and I've heard these words before. They make me cringe. Are some aspects of our marriage better? Sure. Would I go through this pain again? No, I wouldn't.
Please understand, I'm only adding my comments in the hopes to help some of the WSs understand - as a BS, the A is not a good thing. Good things don't come from it. We view the things that improve as things that could have improved anyway, without the pain, if other efforts were made.
I know you are looking for any sign of hope, and I applaud you for making such an effort, I truly do. I think you'll be ok in the end because you are remorseful, and you want to heal.
But please don't only look forward to the 'better' marriage, because the earthquake it took to get there, if it happens, was not, to at least one party, worth it - at least that's my experience and that of many others as well.
Here is the problem - if the WS seems too happy about the 'new, better' marriage, then there is a possibility to the BS - probably unfounded, but it's there - that the WS walks away rewarded with a 'better' marriage. It's a very painful thought for a BS, or at least for many.
again, I applaud your efforts and I think you are really working hard to figure this out and help your H heal. I just wanted to caution against discussing any 'silver lining' because for almost all BSs, there isn't one. It's a touchy subject for a great many BSs.
I really wish you luck, and look forward to seeing your progress :)
I hope I haven't offended you. I certainly did not mean to if I did.
((((hugs))))