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Newest Member: NumbEmptySad (61504)

User Topic: Afraid...
Member # 41012
Question  Posted: 10:05 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a rough weekend. Several triggers and fWH worked and is sick, so it was hard. Finally had a meltdown on Monday night (with little sleep). Yesterday was better and had therapy. Set fWH up with IC again since his IC moved. My therapist is looking into EDMR therapy for me. (Don't know much about it but read about it on another forum.)

And then I get the "ding" of a text... It was from MOW's BS. I hadn't gotten a text from him since September. He was trying to use me as a pawn to hurt fWH and I am NOT going to be a pawn anymore. MOW's is fWH coworker. But I considered both her and her BS my friend. Her BS was also fWH's friend. So it was a quadruple betrayal almost.

It looks like they are headed for divorce. He can't get out of his mind and she has nothing but feeling for her self. Tell him she is available."

I spent then next 1/2 hr physically shaking.

1. As far as I know, "it" isn't "out" at work. I don't know how that would affect fWH's job. He said nothing every happened on work property or on work time. And if there is a moral code, I would fight it.

2. MOW's BS sent a very threatening email to fWH in October. MOW's BS did later apologize and said he had drank too much.

3. fWH has codependency issues with others. (Except for me it seems.)

4. At one point, MOW's BS said that MOW had told him "if we get a divorce, I will be tempted to chase him (fWH) again."

5. fWH has said MOW hasn't talked to him at work. But fWH is upset because he thinks he was a part in breaking up their marriage. (He needs to care about our marriage. He needs to realize MOW is an adult and is responsible for her own behavior. I think he realizes that with himself also.)

6. As much as I am hurting and struggling, I do "think" fWH has his head pulled firmly out of his ass.. And he says he isn't interested in MOW anymore.

But do I respond? Or do I even respond. I just don't know. We don't have therapy for another week.

I "know" what the guy is going through. But the way he has threatened/manipulated in the past, doesn't help at all. It is hard because I had considered both him and MOW friends in the past. Not just MOW. Was it just a helpful "warning" for me to watch out? Why tell me and not fWH directly?

Me - BW 35
Him - fWH 37
D-Day: 7/13
2 yr EA; 8 mo PA.

Posts: 86 | Registered: Oct 2013
Topic Posts: 1

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