a couple weeks ago, i hosted a cookie exchange, inviting a few friends/family and their kids. A very dear friend of ours lost her husband 1.5 years ago. We were talking about her husband, people passing too soon, various different things, and she said to us "people have been telling me everything happens for a reason, but no one can tell me what that reason is"
i have been thinking about her statement for weeks now. DDay was just over a year ago. For a year i have been struggling to figure out the reason, why me, why did this happen to me, to us, to our family?
I suppose everything does happen for a reason. Maybe that reason is to prepare us for what is yet to come. Every experience we have, good or bad, changes us in some way. It is an experience we learn from, and it prepares us to handle whats ahead.
I look back on who i was last year...even the year before. I see how differently i handle things now, how i deal with problems, how i deal with my kids, how i advise them when they have problems. I like who i am now, far better than who i was before. I certainly don't like the experience i have had to go thru to get there...and i still have a long road ahead of me. But maybe this happened to me so i would see that the path i was on, the path my marriage was on was not the right path for me. Maybe this happened to me to show me that i needed to value myself more than i was...that i needed to honor my needs, and by doing that, i can more easily value everyone around me.
It is still a daily struggle, and i am no where near healed. But i wonder, how have some of you come to terms with the reason this happened to you? despite the tragedy, how have you grown in a positive way, and how have you made it thru R onto the other side??