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Non smoking support

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 leftoolate (original poster member #22658) posted at 12:34 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

Hi, my name is leftoolate and I smoke. I don't want to smoke.

What I'm looking for is some support and personal accountability, hoping those will help me finally kick this habit for good.

Would anyone like to join in, so we can help each other out? I do have some techniques, insights, and goals to share, and I could certainly use your ideas! If we all share, we might just make this work.

So, there it is. Who wants to quit smoking with me?

I'll post more in a little bit, share my story so far. But I must admit I'm quite anxious putting this up on a public board, and I need to put my request out there before I lose my nerve.

See you soon!

~L.

If you came this far, you're looking for something. - Jrazz

posts: 824   ·   registered: Jan. 29th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 6641984
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1owner ( member #41157) posted at 1:14 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

I've been quit for about two months, just wanted to say good luck! You can do it, put your mind to it, your brain is more powerful than the addiction to nicotine. For me, the first 24 hours without a cigarette was the hardest (cold turkey). After that, it's all downhill.

You CAN do it! Make it one day at a time, it gets easier every day.

posts: 417   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2013   ·   location: Southeast
id 6642008
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 leftoolate (original poster member #22658) posted at 1:31 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

Thanks, lowner . I've just been sitting here, surfing the net, for the past hour after I threw my cigarettes out. Procrastinating, sort of. I'm afraid that once I get moving, I'll move down to the store and buy a new pack. Which, I know, I do not have to do, or anything. Ugh. Well, I'm glad somebody has the confidence that I lack. Too bad it's not a real substitute for my own...

Thanks for the support!

~L.

If you came this far, you're looking for something. - Jrazz

posts: 824   ·   registered: Jan. 29th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 6642024
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windows ( member #14054) posted at 3:04 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

Hi,smoke free as of Jan 6 2014 after a pack a day habit.

posts: 445   ·   registered: Mar. 24th, 2007
id 6642134
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h0peless ( member #36697) posted at 3:12 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

I quit cold turkey on April 15 of last year. 9 months smoke free. For me, the first three weeks were really hard and then it got easier.

When I first quit, I went through lots of carrot sticks. I paced a lot, didn't sleep well and was pretty irritable. It was a tough thing to do. Totally worth it. In 9 months, I've saved almost $2000 and hopefully added healthy time to my life.

You can do it. It's tough, it isn't fun but it's totally worth it. Just the fact that my clothes don't smell and my mouth doesn't taste like tar when i wake up in the morning are motivation enough to not go back.

posts: 3136   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: Baja Arizona
id 6642149
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1owner ( member #41157) posted at 3:21 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

I hear ya hopeless! No more nicotine stain on my fingers, morning breath when I smoked would raise the dead, and then kill them again!

posts: 417   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2013   ·   location: Southeast
id 6642162
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lost_in_toronto ( member #25395) posted at 3:45 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

You can do it, lefttolate! I quite cold turkey during my pregnancy, and haven't looked back. It been more than two years now, and although I still sometimes want a smoke, I never actually want to smoke it, if that makes sense. I miss the ritual of it, but not the taste or smell or health issues. You are right -

Which, I know, I do not have to do, or anything.

I chose to think about not smoking as a choice I would make each day when I woke up. When I thought about the long term reality of not smoking, I panicked. So at first, I just took each day as it came. At some point, it had been a year and then two years...So! just make it through today, and tomorrow will be a little easier!

Me: BS/48
Him: WS/46
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 23 years.
Reconciled.

posts: 1806   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2009   ·   location: not toronto anymore
id 6642207
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 leftoolate (original poster member #22658) posted at 4:26 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

When I thought about the long term reality of not smoking, I panicked.

I do that too. I don't understand why, though.

After my husband found out the extent of my cheating, I stopped for about a year and a half. Of course, that was a very difficult time, and not smoking was not the worst of my problems. But still, I remember that feeling of... relaxation? peace? something like that that came with not smoking. Perhaps that was the result of letting go of something so shameful, perhaps simply the freedom of not having to make sure I always had cigarettes on hand, I'm not quite sure. It's mostly lost in the infidelity issues.

Anyway, I understand when I smoke and some of how it works, but I haven't the foggiest why I don't seem to want to give it up - panicking at the idea of 'never'.

It's very good to read all your succes stories. Thank you, it really helps.

~L.

If you came this far, you're looking for something. - Jrazz

posts: 824   ·   registered: Jan. 29th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 6642301
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pmal64 ( member #13551) posted at 4:31 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

I found that some of my smoking was out of habit, not need for nicotine. Try changing up your routine a bit. like after eating, go for a walk instead.

I knew someone once that quit drinking beer and coffee when he quit smoking! his reasoning: if he had a beer in hand, a cigarette was expected in the other. same with coffee. Me? I probably would have killed someone if I had to quit coffee and cigarettes at the same time!

you can do this! one day at a time! (heck, I started thinking "I will wait 15 more minutes") and I would get sidetracked and be ok for awhile. good luck! you can do this.

.:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:.
BS-me-55
WH -60
"when they show you who they are, believe them"

posts: 588   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2007   ·   location: down south
id 6642313
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 leftoolate (original poster member #22658) posted at 4:36 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

So - it looks like most of you quit cold turkey (unless we count the carrot sticks as cig-substitutes ). I'm going that way as well, this time.

Question: how did you break the habits surrounding smoking, your 'rituals'? If you didn't, how did you separate the smoking habit from the surrounding habits (taking a break, having coffee, being stuck in traffic, whatever)?

I have an electronic cigarette lying around somewhere that I wanted to use to separate the nicotine from the surrounding habits - but I'm actually afraid to use it... Thoughts? Advice?

~L.

ETA: hi, pmal64 - looks like we cross posted . Thanks for the tips! I really don't want to break my caffeine habit at the same time, but since smoking speeds up the metabolism, I probably need to cut down on the coffee intake if I'm not getting my nicotine doses... Oh, and your friend was very smart: turns out nicotine and alcohol are somehow neurologically linked.

[This message edited by leftoolate at 10:40 AM, January 16th (Thursday)]

If you came this far, you're looking for something. - Jrazz

posts: 824   ·   registered: Jan. 29th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 6642324
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 4:55 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

I need help. I don't smoke. DH has pneumonia and has been sick for about 2 weeks and for the most part no cigarettes. He has been smoking since age 14, he is 57 y.o., he smokes about 1/2 pack a day.

I really can't stand him right now. He is unbelievably grouchy, both from being sick and from nicotine withdrawal. Did you all get very irritable? How did you handle that?

I feel this would be a perfect time for him to quit. He agrees, but of course, doesn't think he can do it. And, as someone mentioned, he said it isn't even so much as wanting one as a habit. Everyone (EVERYONE) he works with smokes.

What do you all think about the e-cigarettes?

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 6642353
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1owner ( member #41157) posted at 5:32 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

LTL, as far as the rituals go, when I felt the need I just forced myself to concentrate on something else, usually work. I became more productive at work because I was taking less breaks. Driving was more difficult, my commute to work is about 40 minutes, that was usually two cigarettes each way. I just started forcing myself not to think about it. It faded quickly after that.

SMS, I didn't get irritable much. When I did, I reminded myself why I was getting that way, it was just chemicals in the brain, and it's not going to beat me. Remembering that squashed any irritability.

I never tried e-cigarettes, I've heard of them but don't really know how they work.

posts: 417   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2013   ·   location: Southeast
id 6642417
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 leftoolate (original poster member #22658) posted at 6:56 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

SisterMilkshake, the last time I quit for any length of time, I still went on breaks with my smoking colleague. I figured I wanted to preserve my mini-breaks, so I did. It tapered off after a while, but not completely.

For irritability, in general, mindfulness works really well for me. Takes some open mindedness, though, so probably best to introduce the subject when he's not that irritated/irritating....

~L.

If you came this far, you're looking for something. - Jrazz

posts: 824   ·   registered: Jan. 29th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 6642559
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whensitover ( member #31207) posted at 7:06 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

I stopped for 7 days..recently...like I started back this past Monday! My problem is that I like to smoke!! But I don't want to like to smoke!! Does that make sense?? I want to stop, but I am a nervous person and I SO look forward to lighting up after a meal, when I get off work, when I drive, late at night by the fire place, I just love to smoke. But I don't want to love it!

posts: 574   ·   registered: Feb. 16th, 2011
id 6642576
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windows ( member #14054) posted at 7:25 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

Did anyone by chance have issues with water retention once they stopped. If so, how long did that last.

posts: 445   ·   registered: Mar. 24th, 2007
id 6642611
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JKL Vikings ( member #32094) posted at 7:53 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

Hi lefttoolate

I'm not a smoker, but I wanted to give you some support from the Lone Star State.

Sister, show your husband the $.Show him Hopeless' example. You can takea lady out for a REALLY good time with $2000

Good luck to Mr. Sister and LTL

Her- Alpha Female 42
Me-FWH 44
Married since '02, together since 2000
D-day 2/10/2009
3 sons- J- born Oct 2001
K- born Sept. 2005
L- born Apr. 2008
We ALL have issues. It's how we deal with them that makes the difference

posts: 562   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2011   ·   location: Dallas, TX
id 6642655
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amitheow ( member #4691) posted at 9:38 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

My H stopped on Labor Day after 18 years. He took Chantix and said it was a miracle drug. Said it was about a week and then something just turned off in his brain. He hasn't wanted one since.

Old Timer, Just here to help
My screen name is: Am I The Ow? - Not Ami the OW.

Because in my situation I didn't know if I was the OW at first or if I was being cheated on. Found I was being cheated on.

posts: 5194   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2004   ·   location:
id 6642816
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Eranda ( member #6010) posted at 1:17 AM on Friday, January 17th, 2014

I guit last May with an e-cig. They really are a miracle for people who don't want to smoke anymore. Haven't touched a cigarette since.

My Blog: http://allofthewaystohell.com/

posts: 4254   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2004   ·   location: eastern PA
id 6643067
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Too_Trusting ( member #99) posted at 1:54 AM on Friday, January 17th, 2014

left,

I quit smoking in June, 2012 after my sister died of lung cancer. I had been smoking for 35+ years, and for me, it was hard. Very hard. Sadly, I was like whenitsover - I LOVED smoking, but knew it was killing me. I was already short of breath, and Dr. said I had developed the beginnings of COPD. No question, I HAD to quit.

I used patches and wellbutrin. I am a person that truly has a chemical imbalance for depression, and I needed the wellbutrin to help with the dopamine hit that cigs had been giving me all of my life. I have been on "regular" AD's for over 15 years, so the wellbutrin was in addition to my regular AD. It made it tolerable, because I can tell you that I fell into a DEEP depression and was cranky as hell!

I have lost my way a few times (like when my mother died - smoked for an entire week). Each and every time I have smoked, I am reminded of why I quit. I notice a terrible decline in my breathing capacity, and like others have said, I really can't stand the way it makes my hands and clothes smell.

There are still times I miss my smokes.

With eranda's tremendous help, I also got a good e-cig and I have been using that since my Mother died with no ill effects to me or my breathing. I like the different flavors of "juice" that I can smoke now, and really don't want the taste of cigs again. Every now and then, I WILL get a hankering for a smoke, but I don't buy them. I know they will just make me feel lousy and I won't be able to breathe.

Personally, I think quitting smoking is hard, and my hat is off to everyone that has quit cold turkey. For me, I knew I couldn't do that. I'm just too weak and I loved smoking too much.

If you find it difficult to stay off the cigs, I wholeheartedly recommend the patch and if you find yourself cranky, get wellbutrin. Together, they made quitting bearable.

Good luck!! You CAN do this!

"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

posts: 27979   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2002   ·   location: North Carolina
id 6643109
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 leftoolate (original poster member #22658) posted at 7:08 AM on Friday, January 17th, 2014

Well, I didn't think I loved smoking, but I'm sitting here looking forward to the first cigarette of the day (after I take the kids to school), and knowing that it's not coming has me nervous. Rebellious even. Breathe...

Whenitsover, did you know that quitting smoking generally reduces anxiety? Makes sense, I suppose, since it's basically an 'upper', but it's rather hard to believe when I'm sitting here having to do relaxation excercises.

~L.

If you came this far, you're looking for something. - Jrazz

posts: 824   ·   registered: Jan. 29th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 6643388
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