Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Anderson78

Reconciliation :
Has the whole marriage been a sham???

This Topic is Archived
default

 focusupward (original poster new member #42008) posted at 4:18 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

Can't help but wonder if the entire 6 years of marriage hasn't been a complete sham. 1 EA and 1 EA/PA in six years with different dudes. Who's to say there hasn't been 10 others that never came to light when your dealing with somebody with the gift of deceit and pure self-interest? Struggling bad with R this second go around.

ME - 44
WW - 31
DDAY#1 - 11/15/10 - EA
DDAY#2 - 5/11/13 - PA

Suffering builds perseverance, perseverance character and character hope.

posts: 37   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2014   ·   location: Texas
id 6642282
default

omgnome ( member #36888) posted at 3:11 PM on Friday, January 17th, 2014

I'm sorry that I don't have a good answer for you, but I wanted you to know you had been heard.

I am in a similar situation, my wife had her EA within weeks of us getting married, possibly a second (she has never clarified the timeline on that first contact with the second guy). She definitely had an EA with the second guy within 9 months of us getting married. So two (maybe three) EAs in the first year alone. We were seperated before our second anniversary, my choice I moved out, because the work just wasn't getting done to heal.

It still rankles me a bit when my wife talks about saving our marriage and working through it. I thought we had a good marriage, I was working towards being a good husband, I thought everything was going good for us. She had never committed to fixing the marriage until I moved out.

I still think that the whole marriage has been a sham, now I just get to decide if I see any hope of building an actual marriage into the future.

posts: 218   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2012
id 6643825
default

DLP50 ( member #40232) posted at 8:57 PM on Friday, January 17th, 2014

I am going on 19 years of a marriage that I think has been a sham from the beginning. Seems like I finally woke up the last 5 to come to this realization.

Me BS-50ish
WH (not according to him)- 50ish
M - 18 yrs together 21
No kids together- DD and DS from my 1st marriage
5 Beautiful GD's

posts: 57   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2013   ·   location: Out West
id 6644459
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy