I'm sorry that I don't have a good answer for you, but I wanted you to know you had been heard.
I am in a similar situation, my wife had her EA within weeks of us getting married, possibly a second (she has never clarified the timeline on that first contact with the second guy). She definitely had an EA with the second guy within 9 months of us getting married. So two (maybe three) EAs in the first year alone. We were seperated before our second anniversary, my choice I moved out, because the work just wasn't getting done to heal.
It still rankles me a bit when my wife talks about saving our marriage and working through it. I thought we had a good marriage, I was working towards being a good husband, I thought everything was going good for us. She had never committed to fixing the marriage until I moved out.
I still think that the whole marriage has been a sham, now I just get to decide if I see any hope of building an actual marriage into the future.