SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Yakamishi posted 1/16/2014 10:19 AM

WW and I celebrated 20th anniversary yesterday. We are at 16 months. Over the weekend we went away to NH. (no kids!)Yesterday we spent the day just hanging around, running a few errands together. It's been a very good week. Lots of love, talk, understanding.

Last night we went through the computer and deleted everything A related. All the excel sheets, times, dates, emails, FB messages. Even emptied the "trash bin". I let a fire and we burned everything I had compiled about the A. All my letters and notes. My phone bills. Texts. EVERYTHING. It's all gone. No more scabs to pick. No more itches to scratch.

I feel so alleviated. Although I had not used or looked at any of the material in a couple of months,I felt a certain amount of closure ridding myself of it all. It's not to say I condone or forgive that the A happened. But I guess it signifies that I am finally past the "discovery" phase. That I'm ready to move on to focusing on the healing, instead of wasting time figuring out what I'm supposed to be healing over.

Either way, a good day. A very, very good day. Now on to the 25th.

Althea posted 1/16/2014 10:26 AM

Yakamishi, this makes me very happy to read! Our Ddays are close, and we both experienced several months of TT, so I am glad to hear you are also doing well.

AML04 posted 1/16/2014 10:51 AM

Congratulations!!! I can't wait to get to this point.

blakesteele posted 1/16/2014 10:55 AM

Yay Yakamishi!!!!

Wonderful post!!!

17 months out here....damn near close to shooting my thumb drive with all that shit on it myself!!!!

...not yet....but almost.

Thank you for posting.

God be with you and Mrs. Yakamishi both!

[This message edited by blakesteele at 11:31 AM, January 16th (Thursday)]

bionicgal posted 1/16/2014 11:23 AM

So glad to hear about all this healing!

totalheartbreak posted 1/16/2014 11:23 AM

We haven't yet made the decision to R as we're only ~3 months out...but I still want to post in this thread as I am currently considering destroying all evidence as a way to move beyond the 'getting all of the details' phase so I can start my personal healing.

Kudos to you and your WW. I wish you the best.

[This message edited by totalheartbreak at 11:24 AM, January 16th (Thursday)]

mchercheur posted 1/16/2014 11:28 AM

Congrats Yakamishi, & to Mrs. Yakamishi.

I hope that WH & I are where you soon.
2 1/2 yrs out, but got off to a very very slow start-------a lot of big steps are being made now, & I can finally say that we are doing well in R.

Thank you for the inspiration---for giving me hope.

SadFlower posted 1/16/2014 11:30 AM

Yakamishi, that is such good news. Congratulations to you and Mrs. Y!

Mama58 posted 1/16/2014 11:32 AM

Sorry to be a wet blanket, but you just destroyed evidence that could possibly used in divorce proceedings. He must be ecstatic. Way to soon to do this IMO. If he is to cheat again, you have now lost all your evidence. Would have been safer to make copies, keep somewhere else, and then destroy just one copy. Sorry.

Mama58 posted 1/16/2014 11:35 AM

Sorry, should have been she, not he. Cheaters lie, cheaters cheat. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME.

Yakamishi posted 1/17/2014 10:33 AM

No, she wasn't ecstatic. She was supportive, if not very emotional with me. It was all my idea. I hadn't looked at any of it in months. Just by seeing the file or walking by the notes, it was turning into more of a trigger than a tool.

and the added bonus...it brought more trust into our relationship.

But i would agree, it is a risk. And timing is everything.

greengiant posted 1/17/2014 11:49 AM

I can't wait to be there one day!

ILINIA posted 1/17/2014 12:15 PM

Woohoo! I broke into a huge smile when I read your post. You spoke so much "lighter" than you have in the past.

Putto posted 1/17/2014 13:10 PM

It's so wonderful to read positive steps in the direction of recovery. I'm sure it felt amazing to symbolically close the discovery chapter and enter into healing with your partner next to you.
Happy 20th, by the way.

Coachdig10 posted 1/17/2014 19:43 PM

Congrats. I hope to be where you are in the future.

33years posted 1/17/2014 21:34 PM

Reports like yours are inspiring and encouraging to those of us who still have a ways to go. Thank you for sharing!

pendant posted 1/17/2014 21:41 PM

Great news. Simply love your honest reality.