Ok I am still very naive and shell shocked at this point so forgive me if these questions are silly.
So I need to have no contact with my WS. He has moved out but calls when he wants to. Comes to the house when he wants without notice. Doesn't this defeat the purpose?
He has come nowhere close to meeting my boundaries; ie MC, NC, transparency.
Question #1 I am going to cut contact with him, but I have heard different was of doing this. NC with WS(don't tell him, just do it) this way seems it will not quite get the point across. Or I explain
I want to be in a committed and open relationship.
Just so there is no confusion about what my minimum boundaries are;
When you are in contact with her I feel like there is no possible way to create a new and better marriage for us. I would like that there be no contact with her, and a clear plan of exit for you or her from the workplace.
When there is no transparency I feel unsure. I would like you to provide emails, passwords, cell phone bill, cc bills, etc to help healing and build trust.
As you have not yet made an apt for individual counseling and will not go to marriage counseling until that point I feel that fixing our relationship is not a priority or what you really want
I have expressed these concerns before and have not seen change in regards to any of these requests.
I feel like I need some time to really evaluate if I want to continue this relationship. I think it would be a good idea to not be in contact for a few days.
Please give feedback, input, edits. Thanks
Question #2
I wanted to keep the circle small as far as who we told.
I know his patents and best friend knows. Obviously OW and I know her sister knows. I think he is delusional thinking no one else at work knows. My question is do I tell his partners? I would want to do it anonymously if that would even be possible. Just wondering what you all think of that.
Question #3
Is it just crazy lady of me to hide a gps in his car and verify his whereabouts? Is that the exact opposite of what I need to be learning from the 180?
Thanks in advance