Me: 31 BS
I keep asking my husband questions about when the affair was starting, things like, did he hesitate before answering the email she sent that started it all? Did he hesitate before asking her to come to him, or letting her go down on him, or telling her he loved her, or actually having sex the first time? Did he hesitate at all? Was there even a moment of indecision before he took the steps to break me and destroy our marriage? I keep hoping that he will say yes, that he will tell me that there was just a fraction of a second where this might not have happened. But there wasnít apparently. My husband didnít hesitate even for a second to run into the arms of the woman he had sworn not to, didnít pause even for a moment before doing the thing he had promised a thousand times he would never do. I donít know why this hurts so much, it shouldnít, it doesnít change the fact that it happened; but for some reason, I wish there had been even a moment where he wanted to save us, just one...just one...
Dday 3+ years ago
Forgiveness means understanding, acceptance and giving up on looking back.